


Prism of Time

by CynthiaK2014



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3964171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynthiaK2014/pseuds/CynthiaK2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perceptions begin to change for Lt. Ayala when he takes another look at Tom Paris.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I swore I would never write for any of the Star Trek Universes. But this need took me by surprise and wouldn't let go until I wrote it.

Prism of Time

****************************

I have always prided myself on my fairness. When I'm wrong, I say so. Apologize and move on. So why have I held on to this . . . hatred of our pilot for all these years? He's a prison slut, sarcastic, devil-may-care, and hazardous to the Maquis health and a traitor. Oh sure, he saved Chakotay's life, exposed Seska and the Kazon and broke the warp 10 barrier. Gods, why did it take Geron to show me the person behind the brash mask? 

Earthers have a saying 'out of the mouths of babes' and I can only shake my head at its truth. When young Geron asked me to go with him into a new holodeck program, I indulged him. Most of us do but his naturally sweet nature seems to draw forth caring from the entire crew, Federation and Maquis alike.

We entered another world once the holodeck doors closed behind us. The next four hours passed quickly while we traveled from a Bajoran village through an Earth valley to what would be a Dorvan city, he said. The entire program was a feast for all our senses. The rich earth crumbled beneath our feet on the meandering path. The scent of wildflowers and earth mixed into a heady bouquet. The wildlife that ran before us on fleet hooves with a flash of white tails and scampered overhead among the towering green trees were the only sounds save for the sighing of the wind.

Geron went down onto one knee and tenderly touched a small white flower that bloomed on a waxy green leafed bush beside the path. "Jasmine. I smelled it once and he said he'd program in some for me."

"Very fragrant." I bent to sniff the sweet petals.

"C'mon, Greg. He said he'd program in something special in the next glade." Geron glowed up at me and sprang to his feet with all the exuberance of youth, tugging at my hand and urging me on.

Laughing, I followed along. A trill from overhead sent our eyes to the leafy limbs above us but nothing showed. Another burst of song sounded just ahead and our pace quickened then slowed as the sound of gurgling water wafted from behind a hanging curtain of vines just off the path. Geron gingerly parted them and we eased slowly through onto the soft moss of the bank of a fresh water spring with steam rising from its surface.

On a rock, at the top of where the spring burst forth out of the stone, was perched a creature from some wondrous myth. We both sank into a crouch so we wouldn't frighten the small being who sang so beautifully for us. It was a combination of so many different things, I was hard put to decide what it reminded me of the most. Soft white fur covered it from the round head with its yellow beak over the plump body down to its yellow claws. Diaphanous wings spread out like crystal covered cobwebs in a figure eight shape, twice its size.

The notes rose pure and sweet in the morning air like a melody half remembered from a dream. For a long moment, it seemed the creature sang directly to me, reminding me of early mornings at home when the day was new and fresh and anything was possible. Then the music died away and it arose from the rock and flew upward with slow flaps of those sparkling wings.

"Oh. He was right. She is beautiful." Geron was crying and smiling at the same time. "She was from Kes' world. Extinct since the war but Kes told him about her and he promised to try and recreate her for the Ocampan. But Kes didn't stay long enough. I told him that if he put her in this program, maybe where ever Kes is, she'll know."

I felt a tear leak from my own eye and I smiled down at him. "What is the creature's name?"

"She's the Locar. There's only ever one of her. Kes told me the story once a few years ago. When the world needs hope, the Locar is born. She sings for the people where ever she flies, always looking for her mate. Until, when she is very old, she takes her last flight up into the clouds far above the world. Then, singing, she falls to the planet surface and dies." Geron's smile faded. "Always alone. But she never gives up hope that another will be born to share the world with her."

"How very sad, Geron. Who helped you create this lovely world?" I wondered at the intricacy of detail that had gone into the subroutines of this illusion.

"Tom." He smiled up at me before darting past to look at a small brown and orange caterpillar that inched its way over a nearby leaf. "He creates beautiful programs."

I was stunned into immobility for a moment. Geron had been spending time with the pilot? Why didn't any of us know so we could protect him from the immoral bastard? I could feel my blood pressure rising and I took another moment to calm myself before questioning him further.

"It must have taken quite a while to write this. How long have you been working with Lt. Paris?" I tried to keep my voice even but I must have failed miserably because he turned to me and sighed.

"I knew that would be your reaction. You all hate him so much. I have never understood why. None of you ever look behind the mask that he wears for you so you won't be disappointed in him."

"Disappointed?" I paced back and forth angrily. "He betrayed us and would have killed us if he could."

"That's what you were told but you never asked him. No one ever asked him what his truth was. Not even after he saved us from the Kazon or saved Chakotay's life." Geron perched cross-legged on a flat rock at the water's edge and watched me with his wise young eyes.

"There is only one truth. He sold us out so he could escape prison for a crime that he admitted committing."

"For a mistake that he admitted and for which he took the blame. I asked the Captain to explain it to me. It was very hard for her to talk about that time and Tom wouldn't answer my questions. It hurts him still." Geron sighed and tossed a pebble into the pool.

I bit back my automatic response of 'good', knowing that it would only hurt the tender hearted young man.

"I've talked to almost everyone about him. But Kes especially. She told me that Tom was like the Locar. She said his mate traveled with us but that he was blind to the love that Tom has learned to hide. She always sighed and shook her head when I asked her when he would smile again. Really smile like when I was telling him about my village back home and how the bread smelled early in the morning fresh from the oven. Or when he told me how it felt to break warp 10."

I sat down at his side and sighed. "Geron, it's no good. There's too much animosity for us to ever trust him. Too much history."

"Yes, the Maquis are very good at holding a grudge. But B'Elanna likes him now. And when I asked him, Chakotay says that there is peace between them. He doesn't get angry at him anymore like he used to." Geron laid his hand on my knee. "And Tom's so very sad sometimes. He only ever smiles these days when we're talking. It's been almost six months now that we've been working on this program."

Six months? Great Gods, what kind of influence has he had on our youngest member?

"You're so silly, Gregor. Do I seem different to you? Are you afraid that he's corrupted me? Seduced me?" Geron laughed up into my face with bright peals of giggling mirth.

I smiled involuntarily. "Would you tell me if he had, little one?"

Geron cocked his head to one side and smiled impishly. "Yes, I would, if only to see your face. But he hasn't. And if you'd stop and think about the last year, you would know that he hasn't been corrupting or seducing anyone. He never goes out except to play pool with Harry or to swap recipes with Neelix at dinner. Name me one time that you've seen him outside of duty."

I cast my mind back impatiently over the last few months. Surely, the little imp was wrong. Paris was always getting into trouble with his smart mouth and cold eyes. Eyes. Suddenly, my memory replayed a scene from almost six months back. Geron had been teasing me about one of our projects and I'd mockingly raised a hand to smack his behind. I'd looked up and caught Tom's glance. Terror had shone for just a moment in those blue eyes then it was gone while Geron threw his arms around me and pleaded forgiveness which of course, I gave.

And just last week, I'd caught an almost wistful look in those eyes when he'd come in to eat and seen Seven tasting a morsel from Harry's fork while the young Ensign laughed at the look of distaste on her face. Followed by such a blank shuttering of his whole face that he'd resembled an effigy of himself. Then the half smile was back and he was teasing Neelix about the amount of leola root in the bread.

Those two memories were all I had of the pilot except for when we were on duty or on a planet gathering supplies. My face must have been baffled because Geron laughed gently and patted my hand.

"You can't, can you? He doesn't sleep much so he works on programs for the holodeck or goes to sickbay and works there. I think the holodoc likes to have him even though he blusters a lot about Tom always being underfoot. But sometimes he wonders through the hydroponics bays and talks to the plants. He really would like to make the Captain's coffee plant bear fruit but nothing so far." Geron sighed and locked his hands around one knee, leaning back alarmingly over the pool. 

"It's really not good for you to spend so much time with him, little one. His ways are not ours." I struggled to explain what I feared. 

"Yes. He made a lot of mistakes in his life. He told me that I must be very careful not to do the same. Tom didn't want me to work with him but I insisted. It's not good for him to be alone. It brings back bad memories and then he gets so quiet and just watches the stars as if he wished he could be outside the ship flying with them. Then I remember what happens to the Locar and I'm afraid. Afraid he'll fly so high and far that he won't come back to us."

I felt a cold shiver up my spine when I remembered how he had flown off to the Kazon to betray us yet again. Except he hadn't. He and the holodoc had saved us then. I had never taken the time to count the cost to them. Paris had gone knowing that we would despise and hate him for another betrayal. Seska had counted on that. Had any of us ever told him thank you? 

Of course not. We had grudgingly accepted Seska's perfidy and simply gone on with business. After all, it was his duty and he was the only one they would have believed to be a traitor, anyway. He'd been even quieter than usual since that time. Thinking back over the only conversations we'd had lately, I could only remember a brief sentence or two from him and an icy look that stopped any comments I might have made.

"I thought maybe he'd given up hope but now, I don't think so. No one who'd given up could create something so beautiful." Geron sat up and turned onto his stomach, trailing his hand in the steaming water. "Wow, this is nice and warm but not too warm. I think that he puts his love into his programs since he doesn't have anyone to give it to. I asked him what it felt like to be in love."

I watched him compassionately. There were so few of us and hardly anyone in his age group with whom he could bond. "And what did he say?" Hoping against hope that the promiscuous pilot had lied to him.

"He grew sad, then he tried to smile and told me he wasn't a good person to ask because he'd never been in love. I asked him why not and he just sighed and shook his head. He said you couldn't fall in love when you couldn't be loved. I wasn't sure what he meant and I told him that your family always loved you." His eyes came up to meet mine and tears shimmered in his gaze. "He got that blank look he gets sometimes and just said I was very lucky since my family and all the Maquis loved me very much and would always take care of me. Then, he tousled my hair and told me he had to leave and get some sleep. Gregor, are there families who don't love their sons?"

Great Gods, such a hard question. I rested a gentle hand on his back for reassurance. But I'm not sure who I was reassuring. "There are parents who don't deserve the wonderful children they receive. Sometimes, love can be in short supply. He was right, you are well loved, little one. And always will be."

"You're thinking of your sons. You miss them, don't you?" 

"I think of them every day. I wish I'd told them I love them more often than I did. You can never say it enough." And there was little Ivor in my mind, tumbling over the grass when he was four and laughing little boy giggles while I pounced on him and raised him high in the air. "But sometimes, your actions say it for you. I think you're right about Paris. This program shows much tenderness of feeling."

Geron smiled at me and drew me to my feet. We continued on through the program and I watched closely while he prattled on about his talks with the pilot and why certain parts of the city were the way they were. A most enjoyable time but it raised such doubts in my mind that I resolved to watch Paris and see why Geron was so sure he was a good man.

***********

Well, I pondered my inability to find the pilot over a cup of coffee in Sandrine's during third shift. I was on second shift for a while and he was on first but still . . . Just casually, I'd asked around for the latest Paris story but all I got were rehashes from months before. He really had dropped out of sight and no one had noticed. So much for our belief that nothing got by us.

How much else of what Geron had told me then was true? He was young and inexperienced but he also had no grudges to hold that might distort his vision of others. Had we so misjudged the pilot until in self defense he hid who he was from us? And why were we judging in the first place? Because he was so different from us? Coming from a Star Fleet family, leading a pampered life and making mistakes that killed people.

Well, the last one was not just his prerogative. What about that mistake I made in the border raid on Hetzern 3? I didn't heed the warning that the old man gave us and led us right into a trap. I almost had ten deaths on my conscious then, except for the lucky chance that brought another party into the mix. I shuddered and drank the last of my tea before getting up to get some more.

The door opened and there was my quarry, his blond hair mussed as if he'd been running his hands through it and his blue eyes worrying at something. At least until he saw me. He hesitated then came on in. No swagger just walking past the bar heading for the replicator on the far side.

"Paris. If I could have a word?" I spoke as softly as I could but he still flinched.

"Sure." He had the blank look back again, his eyes focused somewhere near my left ear.

"I'm having a cup of tea. Join me?" I gestured to the steaming cup that Sandrine had just set on the bar.

"You should try it, mon petite. Very soothing. It might help you sleep." Her silky tones flowed over us and I wondered how close to real life she was.

"Sure. That would be fine." He took the proffered cup and followed me to the table. Except for holo-characters, we had the place to ourselves.

"Geron took me through the new program you helped him with." I started off gently so was not prepared for him to go rigid on me. Fear or something very like it radiated off him like a heat wave. "You did a good job. Some of the details of the Bajoran village were very true to life."

He relaxed a little and took a cautious sip of the tea. It's an herbal mixture my wife invented when the boys were little to calm them down after a long hard day of playing and working.

"I appreciate the time you spent with him." I decided to leave it at that and see what he would say.

"He's growing up quickly. You . . ." His eyes darted up and met mine briefly and I saw doubt there before they went blank again and his voice became impersonal. "If some of you could spend a little more time with him, you could answer some of the questions he's beginning to think. I'm not the right person for him to ask."

"Oh, I don't know. You did pretty well when you told him not to make the mistakes you'd made. If he ever asks you why you made them, I appreciate knowing what you'd say to him." This was tricky territory but suddenly, I wanted to know for myself.

So much pain behind the walls he raised to keep us out. It flared briefly then I saw him lock it away behind a set of durilium shields. "Oh, they were all my own fault. My judgement has always been lacking. I don't do well on my own. I do best when I have someone strong minded making my decisions for me. The Captain and Commander can handle the job, Ayala. You don't have to worry about me screwing up now. Thanks for the tea."

And he was gone. Well, that went well, I thought while picking up our cups and taking them back to the bar.

"Thank you, Gregor." Sandrine smiled kindly at me. "It was nice to see Tom talking to someone. Usually when he comes in this late there is only me."

"Well, I don't know how much good I did. My last question upset him." From the beginning, she had been extraordinarily easy to talk to.

"I would rather see him reacting with the passion he's capable of than hiding behind the walls he built when he was a child." She shook her head and gazed off into the distance. "The Admiral should never have had children. And when his mother died so young, my poor Thomas took the brunt of his ill humor. Many times he would come to me to hide for a while until he could find the courage to return and face his father's disappointment."

"Why was his father disappointed?" I asked gingerly, hoping that she would continue her tale.

"Thomas wanted to fly. He has always wanted to fly. But he didn't do well with his reading so those grades were low and he was grounded. He didn't want to go to all the parties that his father insisted upon to show what a *loving* family they were but his father dragged him anyway. He wanted to learn how things work so he could fix them himself but a Paris didn't do such dirty jobs. There were a great many things a Paris should not do. Coming to me was high on the list. But he had so few friends because only the best would do for a Paris."

My throat ached with tension. "Perhaps the Admiral only wanted to protect him. Many fathers do."

"Quite right, Gregor. But those same fathers will sometimes tell their son that he did well or that they are proud of him and to my certain knowledge, he never once told Thomas either one. He told me once that the only person, he thought, who'd ever loved him was his mother. But he couldn't be sure because she had died when he was two. He had a memory of her playing the five little pigs with his toes and when he laughed, he thought she hugged him and said, 'I do love you, little Tom.' He sighed and told me it could just be a false memory because he wanted it so much." She rubbed the counter with her cloth, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

My whole jaw ached with the need to keep a hold of my emotions. When I thought of the times, I'd held a grubby little boy who'd been 'fixing' something or making something for me; when they'd failed again and again trying to learn something new; when Ivor had finally ridden his bike without help. and Sandor had taken his first strokes on his own in the lake, I felt again the pride and delight in them. How I'd picked them up and swung them around, perching them on my shoulders and taking them back to the house for ice cream to celebrate.

"I would appreciate it if you would not mention this to the others. You are the first to approach him since we've been out here and I would not want him to think I spoke of this to just anyone. But you are a father yourself, no? It shows when you and Geron come in. Now, there's a good boy who grew up with the right kind of love."

I cleared my throat. "Don't worry. I will say nothing. And yes, Geron is growing up on us. Soon he will have questions that need answering. May I come to you for advice if he comes up with something I'm unsure of?"

Her eyes lit up. "But, of course, Gregor. I would be honored."

I nodded and said goodnight. The path to my quarters wasn't long but I remember nothing of the walk, my brain teeming with questions of my own. I had obviously hurt him and I needed to make that right. But how? And who else could I talk to about Paris? Geron said he'd spoken to lots of people. I would have to ponder this further.

*****************

I finished my breakfast and had some time to kill before going on shift. Neelix was wiping down tables nearby and I suddenly decided to ask him some questions. "Neelix, have you got a moment?"

"Certainly, Mr. Ayala. Let me just finish . . . there that's done." He finished wiping down that table and came over to sit across from me.

"Perhaps Geron told you of the program that Paris and he have been working on?" I was feeling my way, unsure of what I should ask.

"Oh my, yes." Neelix beamed at me. "Young Geron spoke to me frequently and Tom as well. Kes told me the old stories so many times that I could recite them in my sleep. It was good to talk about my Sweeting again. I still miss her very much."

"I remember her too, Neelix. I've thought of her often in the last few days. She saw people clearly, didn't she? Beneath the surface of what we present to the world."

"Yes indeed, she did. Many's the time, she sat me down and told me just what was wrong with someone." He shook his head and frowned sadly. "The worst was Tom, of course. I disapproved of him and his actions. I thought he hurt people for no reason. But she shook her head and told me that was all an act to keep the rest of us from hurting him instead. He expected it, you see, so he gave us what he thought we wanted from him."

"She told me once that I should let go of my anger at him. That if I knew the truth behind the lies, I would finally be able to come to terms with him." I swirled the last of my tea around in my cup.

"Yes," he nodded understandingly, "she said much the same thing to me after he left the ship. She was the only one to see him off and when she came back to our rooms, she was crying as if her heart would break. I held her for a long time until she finally went to sleep. Well, I thought he'd said something nasty to her so I wasn't very kind to him in my next broadcast. She chastised me for that and said that all was not the way it seemed. And of course, she was right."

"That little plan took us all by surprise. I'm afraid we never thanked Paris for what he did. We took it for granted that he did it under orders."

"No, he volunteered to the Captain. Kes told me that when she said goodbye to him, she felt such a mix of terror and hope. But when he returned, she could only feel helplessness. I apologized to him. Yes, indeed I did. He looked so surprised and he tried to downplay what I'd done. Pointing out that I'd helped his disguise. But Kes told me later that he was pleased. We stayed friends after that and when Kes . . . left us, he would come by and listen to me talk about her. That was such a nice thing for him to do. Don't you think?"

I had to clear my throat. Some of us had been less than kind to this odd creature from the Delta Quadrant who'd given us nothing but his best from the first day he'd come aboard. "Yes, just what a friend would do."

He beamed at me and patted my hand. "Exactly. And he doesn't have many friends aboard. Even after all these years. I've often wondered why so few see him the way he really is. Indeed, he hides but we all hide a little, those parts of ourselves we think will offend someone else. Geron is very good for him. That young man could make a Rarracnian Elder smile. And believe me, they rarely smile."

I laughed. "I can just imagine. Thank you, Neelix, for sharing your memories with me. I've got to get to work but perhaps we can talk again."

"Certainly, Mr. Ayala. I enjoy talking about Kes. It brings her nearer. Come back anytime." He bustled away from the table still talking and I left the dining hall with a smile on my face.

********************

I sat across from Chakotay and watched him read my report. He sat back, at ease with me as I was at ease with him. We go back such a long way. Our families knew each other and I was glad to know from the message from home that my wife and sons were safe with his mother and at least one of his brothers.

We'd always been able to talk to each other and I decided to sound him out about Paris. After we discussed the problem and my solution of which he approved, I brought up the program and Geron's part in it.

"And you're worried about our pilot's influence on young Geron?" Chakotay's eyes smiled at me. "I was the one who suggested he get Tom's help. I think their collaboration was good for both of them."

"I agree. But I fear that I hurt him a few days ago when I asked him what he would tell Geron about the mistakes he'd made. He said that all the fault was his but that you and the Captain would make sure that he didn't screw up again." I sighed and sat forward. "It was not what I meant to happen. Geron pleads his case well and I wished only to see why he finds Paris so different than the rest of us. He said that you told him there was peace between you."

Chakotay just looked at me for a long moment before he slowly nodded. "I have come to terms with his betrayal of the cause. I can not judge him any longer by just our standards. He was not raised like we were so his reactions will not be ours. I owe him my life and for a long time I resented that. But no longer. I thought he would hold it against me but never once did he ask for special treatment because of it. I was so angry when he left for the Kazan but it was nothing compared to my fury when I learned the truth which had been kept from me."

His eyes flared with fire for a moment then he shook his head ruefully. "But Katherine reamed me out good when she realized what I was doing to him. She said when he came to volunteer, he insisted that no one know. He knew what our reaction would be and he thought he deserved it. She had hoped when the plan succeeded, we might cut him a little slack but you know what happened."

"We resented him proving us wrong and so dismissed the very real danger he put himself into for us. We dashed any hopes he might have had of getting through to one or two of us." I met his eyes with a rather sad look of my own.

"Exactly. I went back to my cabin to meditate and when I asked my spirit guide to help me with my anger, she kicked my butt from one end of the spirit realm to the other. For a very long moment, she sounded just like my mother." He chuckled. "I sat back and reviewed all the times he'd come through for the ship. All the dangerous jobs he took on as a matter of course because he could do them. The whole warp 10 incident still makes me shudder. We almost lost him then and this ship would be the poorer for it."

"And so you made your peace with him." I sat back and rubbed my chin. "But the rest of us and indeed, a good portion of the Federation crew still expect him to screw up." I told him of the bit of research I'd done and the old news that masqueraded as current gossip.

He frowned at that and his finger traced an intricate pattern on the top of his desk. "It is worse than I thought. I know Katherine worries about him but then she worries about all of us. I had hoped that Geron would help to bring him out of his shell. I don't suppose you need any help with a program?"

"No. I'm not much of one for creating long strings of code in layers upon layers." I shuddered in mock disgust. "I leave that to the artists among us. But I wonder if he could do a security program that would test us with different scenarios. It's been a while since we've had a problem and I think Tuvok worries we're getting soft."

"I'll talk with him. Perhaps you could be liaison with Paris in working on them." 

I nodded and that's how we left it.

**************

"Lt. Ayala?" His voice was hesitant and when I looked up, he was hovering just inside the door, poised for flight.

"Lt. Paris. Tuvok told me you had some questions for me about the new programs. I will help all I can. We are going stale without being challenged." I waved to the seat on the other side of the table in the workroom that security had taken over near the brig.

He sat down on the edge of the seat and I proceeded to fill him in on our needs. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his jaw drop while I blithely laid out all our weaknesses, person by person, Federation and Maquis alike. He was shaking his head by the time I was done.

"Why? Why so much personal detail? They'd kill you if they knew you were telling *me* these things." His whisper was appalled and his eyes darted from side to side as if expecting them to come rampaging in.

"Chakotay says that he trusts you. And so do Geron and Neelix and Kes. Not to mention the Captain and Tuvok. If they all believe in you then perhaps it is time for some of the rest of us to let go of old wounds. You will need this information to create a truly challenging program that tests our abilities to the max." I sat back and watched him.

He shook his head in disbelief and I felt again the sorrow that I'd felt when Sandrine had told me of his father. Had he ever been told what a good job he was doing? Had anyone ever trusted him to *not* screw up? How do you believe in yourself when no one else does?

"It will . . . take some time to do it properly. Tuvok says I'm to work with you on this." His eyes were rather bright but I ignored that and nodded.

"Yes. I am not a great programmer but I will do what I can to help. I look forward to working with you. Perhaps we should make plans to get together in about a week. You'll have questions by then. I've made a list of suggestions for possible scenarios and also a list of some of the things I just told you." I pushed a padd across the table to him and he took it gingerly as if he thought it might explode.

"A week? Yes. That would be all right. I'll just read this over and comm you with any questions." He rose abruptly and nodded to me before fleeing the room.

My cheerful look faded as I contemplated his reactions. Time was on my side, of course. With all wild animals, you must move very slowly so as not to frighten them. Patience was not my main virtue if I had any virtues but I would practice it because I must. 

*****************

Three months, I thought to myself while I scanned for anything out of the ordinary while the others picked fruit. Three bloody months and I was still no closer to solving the enigma that was Thomas Paris. We'd met a total of six times and the only time I'd seen him smile was when Geron came in with him and teased him into a small grin. Not the shit-eating grin I was used to but a tiny quirk of lips that relaxed his whole face and made his eyes seem bluer than normal.

I don't think he is scared of me anymore. He seems to be a little less tense than he was that first meeting. But my patience was wearing just a little thin while I contemplated what it would take to make him really smile. At me instead of Geron. I shook my head and slowly made a circuit of the clearing where the six others were busy picking the large orange gourds that Neelix swore we would just love.

How odd that all my thoughts had concentrated on one man and such an unsuitable man at that. But concentrate I did. It was getting almost frightening how much he was in my thoughts. I'd even begun dreaming about him and I didn't need Chakotay to tell me what that meant. The first few had been rather worrisome because he was always in peril and I couldn't reach him in time.

But the last one had been different and I'd awakened with a hard on that was rather embarrassing. I'd had to bring myself off in the shower before going to work and *that* was something I hadn't had to do in a very long time indeed. And all we'd done was kiss in the dream. Kissing a man is quite different from kissing a woman.

A man is all hard angles instead of soft curves and this one was just a little shorter than I which was nice for my neck muscles. His lips were soft and his tongue tasted of spices from the south. The hips beneath my hands surged into mine and our groins mated through our clothing. I was enjoying the dream until I opened my eyes and saw Tom's face so close to mine with his eyes closed and a look of joy on his face.

I awoke in an instant, panting among the tangled sheets. That was this morning and I'd been slightly on edge ever since. I circled again and this time, the small blip on the edge of my tricorder screen really registered with me. The planet scan had said there were some mammals of various sizes but nothing our phasers on stun couldn't handle. I quietly commed Tuvok, who was shepherding another group a few miles away, to let him know that I had a reading.

None of the other five groups had reported anything like this and Tuvok was just suggesting that we should join their party when a monster from legend came charging out of the bush right for us. It was vaguely lion-like with horns and scales instead of fur and my phaser barely slowed it. It was headed directly for the main party when I saw Tom, from the corner of my eye, wave his arms at it and run away from the others.

It changed direction immediately and within another few feet would have had him except for my dialing up the phaser to kill and dropping him just as he leapt on Tom, bearing him to the ground beneath his dead weight. Naomi was screaming and her mother and Geron were trying to calm her down while Green and Ketchner had their phasers out and were scanning for other creatures.

I hurried to Tom who lay unmoving beneath the beast, praying to the old gods that he was all right. It took all my strength to heave it off the still figure and it was only then I saw the blood from the great claws that had raked his back into shreds. I could see bone gleaming through the widening pools of blood and I commed the ship in tightly controlled panic.

They beamed him up immediately and my prayers went with him while I slowly rose and returned to my other charges. We hurriedly gathered up the filled containers of fruit and headed back to the shuttle to join the others. I'm not the pilot Tom is but shuttles aren't that hard to fly and I got us there in one piece.

I reported to Tuvok and explained in greater detail the only warning we had had. Just a little blip and then . . . wham! I rejoined my fellow security crew and we all worked very quickly to fill the holders of fruit so we could depart. All the while I scanned and paced the grove, a small part of my brain kept replaying his brave action over and over again. While yet another, sent up prayer after prayer to gods I wasn't even sure I believed in anymore.

It was another two hours before we'd all returned safely to the ship. And another hour before my debriefing with the Captain and Commander was finished. Taking a life was the last thing I'd wanted to do but going from stun to kill when one of the crew was at stake was deemed justifiable. I don't know who was more surprised when I asked about Tom.

The Captain probably, but she told me he was resting comfortably in sick bay where he'd have to stay overnight to be sure there was nothing lurking in his bloodstream. Alien claws would have been full of alien bacteria. I nodded and left, breathing a little easier but still determined to go and see for myself.

I met the Wildmans coming out and little Naomi was prattling away. I was glad to see her perking up after the gruesome incident.

"Unk' Tom was vewy bwave, wasn't he, Mommy?" Her five year old tongue was having problems with her r's but she'd grow out of that.

"Yes, sweetheart. Tom was very brave to lead the nasty beast away from us." Samantha's eyes met mine and she smiled gently. "Let's go get some dinner, Naomi. Tom will be eating his own dinner with the holodoc."

"Okay!" Naomi giggled and waved at me. "Hi, Unk' Gweg. Thanks for shooting the big bad lion-beast."

"You're welcome, Naomi. Have a little ice cream on me after you eat all your vegetables. Okay?"

Sam rolled her eyes while Naomi hugged my leg enthusiastically. They headed off down the corridor, the little girl talking all the way. I shook my head, remembering another five year old who'd had trouble with his r's. Ivor had been 'Ivow' for several months before my wife had patiently taught him the pesky letter sound.

The door slid open and I entered the half lit chamber, my eyes searching for the diagnostic bed with Tom on it. The holodoc materialized with a martyred sigh.

"Another visitor. My, aren't we lucky today?" His sarcasm usually makes me smile but not now. Not when I needed to see Tom was all right for myself.

He was lying on his stomach, a light cover over him and his head turned towards the door. He'd fallen into a doze and I watched those long lashes flutter once before he woke up and saw me. I crossed to his side and laid a hand on his shoulder to stop him from rising. There was a chair by the bed and I sat down so he wouldn't have to strain to see me.

"Are you feeling better?" I kept my voice low. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the doctor move away from us.

"Yeah. Thanks for killing it." His eyes weren't quite in focus and I could see the little tremors that ran down his arm to the hand beneath his cheek.

"You're welcome. Thanks for drawing it away from the others." For once, I was determined that he would understand he'd done a good thing.

He tried to shrug. "Anyone would have."

"But *you* did, Tom. So, please understand how grateful I am not to be visiting Sam or Naomi or Geron here. It's bad enough that you're here." I pulled the blanket up a little. The doctor never kept this place warm enough. "Computer, raise temperature five degrees."

"Acknowledged." The bland female voice answered and within a few moments, it felt better to me.

"How's your back feel?"

"Tight. New skin always feels too tight. Kind of itchy." His voice faltered and he licked his lips.

"Thirsty? Let me get you some water." I rose to go to the replicator and order a glass of cool water with a straw.

He drew on it, his lips barely sucking on the straw and I was immediately in trouble. Hopefully, he wouldn't notice that I was getting turned on watching him drink a glass of water. How pathetic was that?

"Thanks, Ayala." His lashes fluttered shut again.

"You're welcome, Tom. Do you think that maybe its time for you to start calling me Gregor? We've been working on the security program for three months now and we've got a ways to go. Would you mind?" I had a really dreadful wheedle in my voice.

He opened his eyes wide and looked at me in shock which turned into a very sweet smile when he saw my grimacing face. "Gregor."

"Hah! Very nice. And you can say your r's too." I grinned at him and he chuckled once before a yawn cracked his face. Too late he covered it with his hand, looking at me guiltily.

"It's nice to see I haven't lost my touch. Whenever I visit the wounded, they fall asleep." I made a silly face and surprised him into another smile. "Go ahead, Tom. Sleep is the best thing for you. I'll check in again later. To make sure you're okay."

"'kay, Gregor." His voice was a little slurred and his eyes closed.

I watched him for a long moment before quietly getting up and going over to the doctor. He was waiting for me and when I asked my questions, he answered patiently enough . . . for him. There were no signs of infection but he would monitor him through the night to be sure. I thanked him before leaving for dinner.

****************

Dinner was a rather long and protracted affair. Rumors were flying around the room and each one I heard was worse than the next. Chakotay was frowning when he sat down beside me and I was fuming to put it mildly. We spoke briefly then he stood up and whistled the place silent.

I stood beside him and told the story in the quiet room, exactly how it happened and how Tom had saved the Wildmans and Geron from almost certain mauling. Sam got up and told it from her viewpoint but when Naomi stood on her chair, tiny hands on hips and glared at everybody, the tension finally broke.

"And Unk' Tom was vewy bwave. He's a hewo, the Captain said so. And when he's all bettew, he can have ice cweam too."

Laughter filled the room and Neelix called for ice cream for everyone. Among them all, Harry was the only one who came over to ask how Tom was now. When he heard I'd left him asleep a half hour before, he thanked me and hurried out. He's a good friend. Chakotay sat down heavily and shook his head.

"We have an uphill battle, Gregor. They're assuming this is a fluke of some kind. It's so odd that they refuse to see the changes in him."

"Not so odd, Cha. If they admit they were wrong about him, then they must admit to a flaw in their thinking. Not a comfortable thing to do. Look how long it took us." I pushed the blue vegetables around on my plate. "Are these any good?"

"Kind of crunchy but all right. Dip them in this." And he pulled one of his bowls closer to me.

The sauce was just spicy enough to cover the rather pasty taste of the blue tubes. I finished them while watching the other tables talk. It was better now. This looked to be a nine day wonder. We still needed to go back to the planet and finish harvesting another crop. One of the crews had brought back some water tubers and the holodoc had pronounced them an excellent source of iodine and other nutrients that we needed.

B'Elanna joined us with a request for Chakotay to authorize an engineering team to go rock hunting at the northern pole of the planet. She went on and on about some crystals that they could use for the replicators and certain instruments. The planet was proving to be a mini-treasure trove of supplies that we desperately needed.

It was good to just sit and chat with them but soon I found myself itching to go. Go where? Back to Tom, of course. I'd given up chiding myself for these urges I was having. It was probably just a midlife crisis of some kind, I decided. Excusing myself from the growing table of engineers all talking over my head, I left the dining hall and hurried through the empty corridors to sickbay.

The lights were dim and the doctor was off line. I crossed to Tom and sat again in the side chair. I brushed a lock of hair off his forehead and felt the heat radiating from him. Grabbing a tricorder from the side table, I took a reading. 101 degrees. Too high.

I pressed the button that would activate the doctor and made for the replicator to get another glass of water. The doctor materialized with a quip that soon turned to a frown when I told him what I'd found. He rechecked him and began an in-depth analysis, muttering all the entire time.

"But he was fine an hour ago. . . . What in heavens name is that? . . . That's interesting. I think we need another blood sample." He directed me to the storage cabinet and the packs that would enable us to take a blood sample quickly and painlessly.

Tom was getting restless now, joining in the doctor's mutterings with some of his own. I found the alcohol wipes and opened one to run over his flushed face. The doctor took the blood sample and headed for the lab after I asked if it was all right if I eased Tom over onto his back. He nodded and I moved him gently off his front and over. Untangling the sheets from his lower limbs, I straightened him out and covered him back up.

He was semi-awake now and I held his head while I guided the straw between his lips. He took almost half the glass before shaking his head.

"Gregor? Why is it so hot?" He sounded about as old as my Ivor when I'd last seen him.

"You're running a fever, Tom. The doctor is running some tests but it looks like the lion-beast infected you before he died. It will be better soon." I ran another wipe down his throat, over his shoulders and along his right arm.

"Feels good. Cool." He just lay there, limp and still.

That seemed so wrong to me. All his energy disappeared into this quiet acquiescence. I moved around the bed to get his other arm and he roused briefly, his cloudy eyes following me wonderingly.

"Is that better? Shall I get your chest too?" My fingers itched to draw down the coverlet and touch that pale skin. He seemed incapable of responding so I took a chance and pulled the sheet down part way and ran the alcohol wipe over his satin flesh. 

He sighed and his eyes closed so I pulled it down to his waist and bathed down to the waistband of his pajamas. The golden red curls grew sparsely on his chest, arrowing down to his groin in greater profusion. His nipples had tightened when I ran the cool cloth over them and the pink nubs stood out in bold relief to the rest of his chest. His shoulders looked broader somehow against the white sheets.

His head was moving restlessly again and I drew the sheet back up to cover him. Rounding the bed again, I grabbed the tricorder and took another reading. 103. Not good. Not good at all. He was licking his lips again so I got his head tilted up and put the straw between his lips. He finished the glass this time so I went and replicated a pitcher of water this time.

The doctor came back while I was doing that and I hurried back to hear what he had to say. He had a hypo in hand and he gave it to Tom in the carotid artery before he said anything.

"Well, there's an infection in his blood that should be cured by this broad spectrum antibacterial. But we'll have to watch him closely. If his temperature gets much higher, he could go into convulsions." He didn't sound too worried but then he never did.

"I'll stay right here and watch him. You'll need help if we have to pack him in ice to bring the temp down." I'd had to do it once before to a compatriot whose wound had gotten infected. It wasn't fun but it had saved his life.

"Thirsty." His whisper was so hoarse, I almost didn't understand the word. 

And so started the rest of the night. The doctor commed the Captain and she came down to see Tom for herself. We agreed I'd stay and help the doctor. She said she'd see that Tuvok was notified I would not be reporting for duty at all. She stroked the hair back from Tom's flushed face with such a maternal air, it was hard to believe it was the same woman who ordered us around so handily.

"Captain? Sorry." He recognized her and tried to look alert.

"Hush now, Tom. It's not your fault that that beast infected you. You did a very brave thing. And I have it on good authority that just as soon as you get better, Neelix has some ice cream with your name on it." She teased him gently and went back to stroking his hair.

"Pistachio?" His lips quirked up and he smiled at her.

"I think that could be arranged. Just rest now and get better." She trailed a finger down his cheek and he smiled again before he fell back asleep. She watched him much as I had earlier. Then sighing, she crooked her finger at me and headed for the door.

"Thank you for volunteering for this watch, Lt. Ayala. Just why are you?" Her wise eyes appraised me and it felt like they reached deep inside of me for the answer.

"I think we may yet be friends, Captain. I've been wrong about a lot of things in my life but . . . I think I was very wrong about Tom." I didn't know what else to say but she just nodded and left.

He was trembling by the time I got back to the bed, only calming when I laid my hand on his shoulder. "Gregor?"

"I'm here, Tom. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Would you like some more water?"

I dozed by his bed in between wiping him down and watering him. He grew incoherent after a couple of hours, begging for someone to stop hurting him. When I restrained him, he cringed away from me as if I was beating him. I tried to wake him, to bring him back to the here and now but he was lost in the past. And all too soon the fever went higher and he fell quiet.

The holodoc decided that 106 was too high and we began to pack the ice packs around his body. He began to shiver before we were half done and his eyes opened but didn't see us. He endured silently and after an hour, his temperature began to go down. Once we removed the packs, he fell into a more natural sleep and I was able to catch an hour myself, pillowing my head on my arms on the side of his bed. If he moved, I'd wake up. 

"Hey . . . Gregor." The whisper woke me out of my doze.

I raised up and blinked the sleep out of my eyes. Tom's eyes were clearer and he was looking at me with such a puzzled look.

"Hey yourself, Tom. You look better. Let me check your temp." I reached for the medical tricorder and found it down to 99 degrees. "Almost normal. Do you want some more water?"

He nodded and accepted the straw, drinking while he watched me. "The doc needed a little help while you fought off the infection left behind by the lion-beast. That's what Naomi is calling the creature. You'd have been proud of her last night. She got up in the middle of the dining hall and told everybody that you were 'vewy bwave'."

He choked and I watched him worriedly for a moment but it was just a laugh mixing with his drink. Not a good combination. I found myself patting his shoulder while he got his lungs back under control.

"I'll bet that went down well." He sounded resigned. "I hope they didn't laugh at her. She's a sweet little girl and she means well."

Why hadn't I noticed that before? The way he thinks of others first, just assuming that he's due whatever blame or punishment is being handed out. Suddenly, I wanted to hurt everyone who'd ever told him he was a screw-up.

"Oh, I don't know. After Sam and I told them what happened, they pretty much accepted that you'd done a pretty brave thing. Which Chakotay backed up as well." I kept my voice even with an effort.

His eyes went wide and he almost looked frightened for a moment. "Oh well, it will all die down. I really don't need a lot of attention right now while we're trying to write these programs."

We. I fought to keep a silly grin off my face. He acknowledged 'we' were working together. "You're probably right. The next crisis and everyone will be talking about that. The rumor mill on this ship is amazing."

He smiled shyly and those amazing blue eyes met mine again. "Why were you the one who helped the doc?"

"Because I was here and I volunteered. Harry visited while I was at dinner. Do you remember him being here?" He nodded hesitantly. "You were kind of drifting in and out for a while there. But when I came back after dinner, you were starting to run a fever. You surprised the doc, you know."

"Nonsense. Nothing Lt. Paris does could surprise me." The prissy tones of the holodoc came from the foot of the bed where he'd materialized.

I rolled my eyes and Tom smiled again, enduring the doc's fussing and tests. He still had a faintly puzzled look in his eyes whenever he caught me watching him and I just smiled gently and stayed right where I was. He was going to have to get used to having me around. Because sometime in the night, I'd realized two things.

First, it was time to move on with my life. Seri, my wife, had remarried and the boys had a new father. I'd finally finished my mourning and could begin again in this new universe we were flying through. I'd done my share of looking and just hadn't felt comfortable with any of the possibilities. But then, I'd been looking in the wrong places all the time.

Second, Kes had known what she was talking about all the time. Letting go of my anger *was* the next step along the road that would lead to my happiness. And for whatever reason, Tom was on the same path I was on. If I was very lucky, we'd be able to walk it together. Slowly and with care, but together.

I helped him sit up and let him rest his golden head on my shoulder while the doc thumped his back and listened the old fashioned way to his lungs. I tried to keep it impersonal for now, afraid that I'd scare him by going too fast. But suppressing the need to hold him was perhaps the hardest thing I'd had to do in a long time. And when I caught him taking in a deep breath and holding it, I could have cheered. He was sniffing me.

What an erotic little gesture and one I'm quite sure he didn't realize he was making. Next to tasting, and that was an image I had to banish quickly, scenting is the sense that most quickly identifies a person to another. I'd already begun imprinting him into my senses and his warm, spicy scent would stay with me forever. Even overlaid with the alcohol wipes I'd used on him, the smell of him reminded me of fresh baked bread and sunshine.

An odd combination, I know but addicting anyway. I laid him back reluctantly and pulled up the blanket, tucking him in so he wouldn't catch a chill, while listening to the doctor pontificate on about the decreasing infection and the need for him to stay another 24 hours in sickbay.

He rolled his eyes tiredly and I hid a grin from the doc while I congratulated myself on his acceptance of my presence. The holodoc suggested a light meal of soup and his eyes lit up.

"Tomato soup?"

I smiled and went to the replicator to order it. I charged it against his account so it would be the kind he wanted. It was a delicate line I was walking. I wanted him comfortable with me but not beholden to me. We had to meet as equals or this wouldn't work. Right now he was weak and vulnerable and I couldn't take advantage or I'd lose him before we ever had a chance to be together.

I asked for it in a mug so he could drink it himself as much as I would have enjoyed feeding him. I stole all the pillows from the other beds and used them to prop him up high enough so he could eat comfortably. His hand shook as he sipped the soup and he had to rest the mug on his chest in between but he managed. I replicated a snack for myself so I could keep him company. Just a bowl of frijhas chips.

"What are those?" He noticed the dark red color and twisted shapes.

"Frijhas. Want to try one? They're kind of spicy." I gave him fair warning but handed one over when he nodded.

His eyes widened immediately but his grin flashed out like a beacon. "Wow! You're not kidding. That tastes great. Have you ever tried jalepeno pepper soup? They remind me a little of that."

We talked of food for the next twenty minutes while he finished his soup and a couple more of my chips. His color was back but when I checked his temperature, it was still 99 degrees. He laid back with a sigh when I removed the excess pillows.

"Thank you, Gregor. I'll be all right. You should go and get some sleep. I don't need babysitting anymore." He looked pensively at me and I smiled at him.

"Not babysitting, Tom. Just watching over a partner. There's no *way* I could finish those programs by myself. You need to get better so we can get back to work." I laid a hand gently on his shoulder and gripped lightly. "I'll check in later and see if the doc is willing to spring you."

"Okay." He smiled back and barely stifled a yawn. "Thanks for the frijhas chips. They were really good."

"You're most welcome. Sleep well, my friend." And I left him without another look. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It felt wrong to leave him alone in that sterile place, but we'd come far enough for now.

Tomorrow, I'd intensify my campaign. Grinning, I headed for bed and maybe another dream, this time with sound and scent effects.


	2. Prisms 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The planet has more surprises for them.

Prisms 2

************************

I commed him each day with a different question. Day one was a question about the program. 

Day two, I requested the recipe for his tomato soup. 

Day three, I asked about his health. 

Day four, I happened to run into him in the dining hall and we had dinner together while I regaled him with my last stint with B'Elanna's crew gathering crystals. He actually chuckled out loud.

Day five, I rested, giving him a break from me. 

Day six, he commed me and I barely held in my grin while answering his question about the program. 

Day seven, I went to Tuvok and asked to be reassigned to first shift so I could work more closely with Lt. Paris on the security simulations. He took it under advisement. I was on pins and needles while I walked down to Sandrine's, wondering if I'd overplayed my hand with the intuitive Vulcan.

Sandrine greeted me with a synthetic whiskey and a quiet thank you for saving Tom's life. We chatted for a few minutes before the doors opened again and I saw him come through. He looked around for a moment and he didn't hesitate at all, coming over and greeting us both.

"Hi, Tom. Are you back to full duty yet?" As if I didn't know.

"Doc cleared me today. I'll be taking one of the shuttles down tomorrow. B'Elanna's crew in the mountains."

"Hey, I'll see you then. I'm assigned to her as well." I grinned and finished my drink.

"Tom. Come play pool." Harry called from the pool tables.

He waved back and asked Sandrine for a beer. I nodded and also got a refill before heading for a table of my fellow security officers. I spent an hour bullshitting with the guys while allowing myself an occasional look over at the pool table. The lights above the table shone on his fair hair, creating a halo effect that gave me a severe twinge in the heart region.

Harry's play made him laugh twice and I saw each one. His white teeth gleamed in the light and his cheeks flushed with the effort to restrain his chuckles. He looked ten years younger, about Geron's age when I next sneaked a glance. His jeans hugged his slim hips and every time he leaned over the table, I had to look away or risk disgracing myself.

It had been a long time since I'd lusted after another man and the old feeling had lost nothing in the intervening years. The need to hold and be held, the urges to taste and devour the tender flesh with lip and tongue were as strong as ever. But we had plenty of time and I was determined to go slow and woo him gently. It was enough now to watch and enjoy.

***************

Day eight dawned clear and bright on the planet. We had sensors rigged in a giant ring around the party who were mining for crystals and the security personnel were moving constantly, checking and making sure that nothing crept up on us. Tom was working nearby on a problem with the shuttle. I remembered what Sandrine had said about him wanting to know how things worked.

He was sitting cross-legged on the ground near an open panel with something in his lap and a diagnostic tool in one hand. He had a streak of grease on one cheek and I had to fight the urge to go over and wipe it off. Oh, I had it bad. It was good to be feeling again. I had forgotten how exhilarating love could be.

The sun was glinting off his fair hair and he'd pushed his sleeves up and out of the way so his forearms were exposed to the heat. The muscles in his arms flexed when he turned the part and played the tool over it. Curious, I took a spiral path that would lead me to the shuttle as a part of my circuit.

My shadow alerted him to my presence and he looked up warily. It was good to see him relax when he saw me. "Hi, Gregor."

"Tom." I squatted by him and peered into his lap. "Something wrong?"

"Harmonics are off. Nothing life threatening but annoying when I'm bringing her down slowly. There's a vibration that bothers me." He shook his head and kept on playing what I could see now was a tuner over the computer module.

"And you could feel it while you were flying? That's amazing." And I was amazed at how 'tuned' in he was to his craft.

"Any pilot would." He blushed in the sunlight and I had to restrain myself from touching him.

"Maybe so, but I think its more like extrasensory perception on your part. Did you put sunscreen on before you came out? You're getting a little pink around the edges. Several of you fair complected ones need to watch this sun. Is there some in the medikit?" I'm dark and rarely burn but he was looking pinker than his blush would account for.

"Oh, I didn't even think of it. I wondered why my ears felt so warm." He laid the tuner down and touched one ear, leaving a streak of grease behind.

"I'll check the kit while you keep working." He nodded and I dashed into the shuttle and opened the kit, searching and finding the old fashioned tube of sun screen. Then taking a deep breath, I went back to Tom.

"Now sit still while I get your ears." Not giving him a chance to object, I delicately spread a thin layer over his ear down to his lobe. "If you do it, you'll get grease everywhere. There's one. Turn your head."

He shivered in the warm sun and looked at me with wide eyes while he turned slightly. I rubbed his nose for good measure with the disappearing cream before caressing his other ear with gentle strokes. Did my fingers linger on his lobe? I tried not to but he was so good to touch.

"There. I'd better go see to the others or the holodoc will have some choice words for us later." I grinned at him and rose, headed back to the main party.

"Thanks, Gregor." He spoke softly but I heard him. I think I'll always hear him.

The rest of the shift went normally. No alarms or emergencies. A nice boring day on the planet. Just the way security likes it. Tom flew the first crew back just before sunset. B'Elanna and a couple of her engineers kept working and I stayed behind to watch them. We'd moved the sensors closer in so I had less of a perimeter to walk.

A warble sounded at the far side of the sensor array and I headed for it with my phaser out and set to kill. I wasn't taking a chance with the local wildlife. Yelling to B'Elanna to bring everyone in, I watched for movement. But there was nothing. 

"Are you picking up anything, B'El?" I called over my shoulder.

"Tricorder is clear. False alarm?" Her voice was calm but questioning.

"Ma'am, I'm picking up a geologic disturbance about 100 meters below us." One of her engineers showed her his tricorder.

"Voyager, we may have a problem. Sensors are signaling but there's nothing there. Can you pinpoint a geologic disturbance in our location?" I signaled the ship. "B'El, can you tell if the reading is organic? Some tunneling beast, maybe. Or is it really geologic?"

"Lt. Ayala. We are picking up a sizable earth tremor several kilometers west of you. Moving your way." Chakotay's voice was calm but I heard the tension behind it. "I suggest you head for the clearing so your shuttle can set down and pick you up expeditiously. Paris is on his way. ETA five minutes."

"And how far away is the quake?" B'Elanna's voice was sarcastic.

"About the same. So, I'd be ready to board if I were you. No stragglers."

"We'll be ready, Voyager. Ayala out." The sensor equipment could be picked up later. For now, it was enough to get the seven of us to the plateau on the side of the mountain and wait for Tom.

You know, in all my fantasies, I'm always the one rescuing Tom. But right now, I'd settle for him being the hero, yet again. Hey, if Chakotay can owe him his life, I can too ... In fact, this could work out just right. Maybe if he sees my vulnerable side, he'll relax even more around me.

"There he is." One of the engineers pointed to the south at the dot that had to be the shuttle.

"New speed record for hotshot Paris." B'Elanna said affectionately.

"The quake is getting closer too." Harper was facing the other way and reading his tricorder with a look of dread on his face.

A distant sound of thunder made me look over my shoulder just as part of the mountain disappeared. The hillside collapsed and the trees and earth began a giant landslide down into the valley below. The ground was trembling beneath our feet now and the shuttle swooped in and hovered about a foot off the ground. The hatch popped open and the others began scrambling inside. 

I was last one in and just as I had one foot on the sill, the ground fell out from under me. I made a grab for the side and barely managed to hang on while I dangled over the roaring rockslide beneath me. The shuttle tilted to the right and began to lift while several hands pulled me the rest of the way in. B'Elanna slammed the hatch shut.

"Get us out of here, Paris. We're all aboard."

Sudden acceleration pinned us where we sprawled across the shuttle deck and I was glad enough to lay there and try and get my heartbeat under control. What an adrenaline rush! I had to curb the urge to head up to the pilot's seat and kiss him senseless.

"Is everybody okay?" Tom's voice sounded just the least bit worried.

"We're fine. And we owe you a drink." B'Elanna snapped back. "If you hadn't broken the speed limit on this old tub, we'd be in little pieces at the foot of that mountain."

The others were nodding and when the pressure eased up, we all got sorted out and into the empty seats. I made my way to the pilot's seat and leaned on the back for a moment, touching his shoulder briefly.

"Thanks. I owe you one, Tom." I spoke softly so the others didn't hear.

He blushed and darted a quick look up at me. "You're welcome, Gregor. I don't have so many friends, I can afford to lose any."

I just pressed his shoulder again and sat down, speechless with euphoria. He considered me a friend. Wow! 

****************

Sandrine's was abuzz with the rescue. Tom was mobbed and Harry and B'Elanna were helping run interference for him. Chakotay and the Captain made a rare appearance and stayed for almost half an hour. Tom made all the right quips and showed why his smart mouth was so admired. But the one time I caught his glance, I saw the blank look I was coming to hate.

I don't usually say much but I made sure I countered any negative dismissal of his flying. And since I was there, my words carried some weight. Using the shiny surfaces of the bar, I kept track of his movements so I was one of the few who saw him duck out. Harry cast one worried look after him then went back to playing pool.

I was right behind him and I called his name softly so I wouldn't startle him. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, the smile reaching his eyes for the first time that night. "Hi. Got kind of noisy."

"Don't blame you, Tom. How about a visit to the observation lounge? Unless you're tired?"

"Nah. That would be nice."

So we walked side by side to the empty lounge. I replicated some of the soothing tea and watched him curl up in one of the comfortable chairs by the observation port with a mug. I sat across from him and watched the stars go by. This was one of my favorite spots on the ship and it never failed to calm and soothe me.

"This is nice." Tom's voice was hesitant.

"It's my favorite blend of tea. Calms the nerves and helps me sleep when the adrenaline's been high. For a brief moment there, I felt as if I was going to fall down that hillside. When you tilted the shuttle to the right, it kept me half in the hatch so the others could pull me the rest of the way in."

He shuddered and gripped his mug. "I was afraid I'd be too late and you'd all be caught in the quake."

"Not this time, Tom. And even if we had been, it wouldn't have been your fault." I spoke the truth but I could see it wasn't getting through.

"That's not what they would have said." His voice was sad rather than bitter.

"Then they'd have been wrong. It's going to take time for them to know you, Tom. The you that you're becoming." I took another sip and watched the stars.

"Why are you being so nice to me, Gregor?" The rather plaintive note in his voice made me smile.

"Geron made me look at you, really look at you. When you created that beautiful program, I realized how very wrong I'd been about you. When I looked around with an open mind instead of my anger, I began to see the good things you were doing but never getting credit for." I paused to let him think about that.

"You weren't so very wrong when you were angry." His eyes were trained on his cup and the rising steam.

"Maybe at the time, although I think we didn't have all the facts. And to our detriment, we didn't even look for the reasons behind any of the Federation actions. Too much fear and anger to look for the truth." I regretted that so very much and he risked a look at me. "I'm sorry we were all so blind."

"Not for everything. I can be a sarcastic asshole sometimes."

"Protective coloring like that lizard you programmed into the valley. The . . . gek?" I struggled with the name.

"Gecko." He smiled softly. "I've had a lot of practice at camouflage."

"Understood. But I hope you know you don't have to with me." I kept it simple.

He just looked at me for a long moment before he smiled. Such a shy smile. Hopeful but unsure at the same time. "Okay."

"I liked what you said in the shuttle. I'd hate to lose you as a friend as well. Especially now, when all we have is each other. And a lot of time to get to know one another." I finished my tea and motioned to the replicator. He nodded and I took both of our cups back over, programming more tea.

Once we were settled in again, I brought up the security programs and we chatted about them for a while until I saw his eyes getting droopy and I suggested it was time for bed. He was covering a yawn and agreed with a laugh. I walked him back to his cabin before heading down to deck seven and my own bed. It looked like we had a solid basis now for our friendship.

And he'd agreed to go running with me if our schedules ever matched again. I was looking forward to that. I enjoy having someone to pace myself with.

********************

Tuvok approved my move to first shift. I was elated and immediately sent Tom a message to see if he'd like to go running after our shift. He sent back his agreement and I settled in to wait for the end of the day. B'Elanna was agitating to go back to the surface and retrieve any sensors that might have survived the quake. Harry had found some interesting readings from the mountain core that had been exposed after the quake.

I love my work as a security officer but working ops fulfills a different kind of need. Weaving all the information from sensors and people together into a coherent whole that enables the Captain to make decisions, can be a real rush. And this time, it appeared there was a crystal light at the end of this tunnel.

A dilithium crystal light. The one thing that held us back from using the replicators to their full extent or utilizing the warp core to maximum capability. Everyone was too aware of the disappointments of the past to get too excited but you could feel the electricity in the air while the data was analyzed by computer and human.

I don't think I was the only one to do a little wishful thinking about having enough power to run the ship as she was meant to be run. But I know I set mine aside to correlate the steady stream of data arriving from the planet. It was fascinating to watch the tension level rise across the bridge.

Command staff left for the Captain's ready room and I took charge for the duration of their meeting. It would be interesting to see what they decided. It appeared the crystals were there, in the heart of the mountain. Right in the middle of a gigantic fault line of unstable rock. Did I have any premonition about this mission? 

Nope. Hadn't a clue. So, when Tuvok relieved me and told me to join the party, I was totally unprepared for the Captain's offering me the lead of the away party. I didn't have to think about it. It's what I trained to do and I accepted at once. B'Elanna was agitating to go and the Captain sat on that idea immediately. She was too valuable to risk and she knew it but she loves the danger.

We assembled the party of engineers and science crew. Keeping it small, the final tally was seven. My lucky number. Tom hadn't looked at me since my initial acceptance of the mission. Had there been fear in his eyes? Our friendship was still too new for me to be able to read his glances.

We decided to wait 24 hours and see if the region stabilized any further. Most of us picked for this mission had mountaineering or spelunking experience and we gathered our supplies with care, testing the ropes and lights that might mean our lives once we headed into the mountain. I took a break after a few hours and headed for Sandrine's for a drink.

"Tea, Gregor?" She asked.

"Yes, please. I don't dare drink anything stronger." I smiled at her, half my mind still on the equipment.

"You will be careful, will you not, my friend?" Her accent seemed heavier to me this evening. "Tom would be very upset should something happen to you, now that you are friends. He sits and broods, that one."

"Where?" I turned, following her hand gesture, and saw him in the far corner, hidden in the shadows. Taking my cup, I threaded through the real crew and holographic characters until I reached his table. "Is this seat taken?"

He looked up and for just a moment, I saw gladness there before the blank wall came back. The one I'd tried so hard to demolish. "No."

"Sorry about our run. After this trip, we'll meet for sure. I'm taking a break from checking the equipment. I don't want anything to go wrong tomorrow."

"The mountain may take care of that for you." His voice was bitter.

"Maybe. But we have to take the chance. If we ever want to get home, we need those crystals."

For a moment, I saw fear in his eyes. "Home. Yes, I guess it is worth the risk of seven lives."

And that's when I knew that he hated the thought of going home. I could have kicked myself. Of course, he feared our return. He still had a prison sentence hanging over him. And a whole quadrant who knew his story, condemning him as most of us had done.

"I don't think anything will happen, Tom. I think we will climb in and mine the crystals and come back. All seven of us. And you'll be there to fly us out." I put all my conviction into my voice.

His eyes came up to mine and I saw the uncertainty there. Daringly, I reached out with my free hand and laid it over his. "Truly, Tom. I'll be back. There's too much still ahead of us for me not to."

His eyes fell to my hand and I held my breath waiting for his reaction. For a long moment we just sat there while he thought about my rather brazen declaration, then he turned his hand palm up and gripped my hand with his. The sudden heat was electrifying and I know I took a deep breath to replace the air in my starving lungs.

"Promise? You'll come back." His voice shook just a little.

"I promise, if it is in my power, I will always come back." I vowed my future to him and regretted nothing.

He just looked at me, the blank look banished by a wondering glimmer of hope. "Are you sure, Gregor?"

"Very sure, Tom. The future can be a wondrous place if we let it grow slowly." I was unsure of how much to say right now. "Besides, we haven't finished those programs yet. And I'm looking forward to that."

He smiled slowly like the sun rising over the mountains. "I guess I am too."

We just sat there while we finished our drinks and he walked me back to the shuttle bay where we were assembling the equipment. He pitched in to help us test the ropes and links that would tie us together while we were in the mountain. We were quiet while the others talked nervously about the conditions below. Our silence was calm, outside of time and fear.

He was called away before we finished and we exchanged a silent goodnight amid the others who seemed totally oblivious to our new partnership. I slept easily that night. No dreams, either good or bad, disturbed my rest. I seemed to have found that clear center where I could work, free of fear and anxiety.

The Captain bid us goodbye and good luck before we lifted for the surface. Our tricorders were updated with the new readings in the area and the aftershocks had rocked the range twice already. But they were weaker each time and they were coming about ten hours apart. Which left us a window of about six hours before the next one.

Tom got us as close as humanly possible to the new entrance Voyager had lasered into the stone, connecting us to an existing series of tunnels that should lead us to the strongest source of readings. We only had time for one long look and a smile before the team disembarked.

It lasted me for the scramble through the barely passable tunnels, through the digging out of a collapsed section and into the cave that literally shone with crystals. The engineers practically peed their pants at the treasure trove of dilithium that we found. We used sonic cutters to loosen them from the walls before nestling them into the padded containers that we'd brought with us. 

When half of them were filled, I sent them back with two of the crew. We roped the containers together and tied them between the two of them. The last box was filled when we got the signal that said they'd reached the shuttle safely. I got the rest of the crew headed back while I waited for Harper to finish taking a reading of some crystal that was growing out of the middle of the chamber. It was almost as tall as we were and he was hyperventilating with the data that streamed into his tricorder.

There was no way we could get it out without damaging it and I appeased him by leaving a homing device in one of it's outcroppings before I practically pushed him back into the tunnel. We were cutting it close to the time of the next aftershock and no crystal was worth our lives. He finally came to the same conclusion and we hurried back to the outside.

Reaching daylight, I helped him into the shuttle hovering above us before climbing aboard myself. I secured the hatch and threaded my way through the stacked containers to the co-pilot's seat. Tom had already pulled us away from the mountain side when as if on cue, the earth began to rumble and the tunnel entrance disappeared. 

We exchanged a long look and began to laugh, even as he flew us away from the little death trap that we'd avoided with such a small margin. The mood aboard was euphoric and our arrival back at Voyager nothing short of triumphant. B'Elanna practically crooned over our cargo and she had plenty of volunteers to help her take them down to the engine room. 

Not all of the crystals were dilithium but might still be useful elsewhere. Debriefing was short and sweet while they debated whether we should go back for the mother crystal. Finally, someone suggested that we just beam two people into the chamber with the right tools and out again. Sensors seemed to show there was still a cave to beam into.

Without even looking at each other, Tom and I volunteered. The Captain took it under advisement and dismissed us with a 'job well done' echoing in our ears. We walked out together and I suggested the observation lounge. He just nodded and we rode the turbo lift up to the lounge. It was empty and silent and we filled it with our adrenaline rush of energy.

He was in my arms as soon as the door slid shut behind us, shaking and crying my name. I held him in a desperate hug that tried to absorb him into my own body, touching him with calming hands that soothed the muscles in his back with tender sweeps.

"I've never been so afraid. Caring hurts." His voice was muffled in my neck, his breath gusting against my skin.

"I know it does, Tom. It's why I've tried not to feel for the last few years. I had to let go of my love for my wife, knowing that she's chosen another and moved on with her life. It's hard to trust again. We're so fragile out here in the Delta Quadrant. All alone, except for each other." My lips moved gently against the soft skin at his temple.

He calmed gradually, his hands slowly losing their death grip on the fabric at my waist. "But seventy years is a long time to be alone."

"Especially when someone very special is right in front of my eyes." I pulled back just enough to look into his gaze.

And this time, he met my look with one of his own. Hesitant but all the passion he lavished on his flying and his programs was there, plain to see. And finally, I asked my question and received his answer without any words being spoken. 

Will you take another chance? With me?

Yes.

Our lips met with the gentlest of caresses, merely brushing together at first before we drew back to look into each other's eyes. Need was growing in both of us but we were in control at the moment. I drew him to the couch in front of the porthole and we sat down together, our arms around each other. For now, it was enough to hold and be held.

I cradled him in my arms and felt the sweet weight of his head on my shoulder and was content. He sighed and snuggled closer, murmuring something in a soft tone I had to strain to hear.

"Nice."

"Very nice." I traced a path down his arm, wishing that his uniform wasn't in the way so I could touch the satin skin I remembered from sickbay.

"I'm a little scared, Gregor. I usually fuck up every time I try and get close to someone." His voice was resigned and I wished I had every person who'd disappointed him here now so I could show them what they were missing.

"Me too. I married young and the best part of our marriage was our sons. We stayed together for them even after the original attraction had faded. I'd forgotten how very nice it was to be in love."

"Oh, Gregor. Don't love me. I don't know if I can." He sounded scared now and I spoke to calm him.

"You don't have to, Tom. It's not a poker game where I love you and you raise the pot by loving me more." I felt him smile a little against my throat. "Just accept it and let me have what you can. I'd like to take it slow and savor what we have. Moments like these when we can hold each other and share our warmth. You're very good to hold, Tom."

I could feel his skin flush and his lips brush against my suddenly sensitized skin. "It's been a long time since someone held me with love. Maybe the first time ever in my life."

"Good. I like being first in something." I chuckled and kissed my way across his forehead to the tender spot I'd found earlier at his temple.

He tensed. "I'm not a virgin, Gregor. Not in any way at all."

"Me either." I laced my fingers through his where his hand lay on my thigh. "At least both of us know what goes where."

"I don't . . ." he faltered and I felt a tremor run down his spine. "I . . . have some bad memories from prison."

"Then we'll make better ones and drive the bad ones away." I kept my voice calm and nonjudgmental with an effort. He would have been highly sought after in prison, I could see that. With his beautiful blond looks and his family background, I could just imagine what hell he'd gone through. "What happened in the past is over and done with. Everything we both did, led us here. Here, to the Delta Quadrant and each other. One decision another way and we might never have met."

He was silent for a long time and I gave him the courtesy of respecting his thought processes. We didn't have to make up thirty years of living in the next hour. Hopefully, we had years ahead to share our pasts with each other. Finally, he sighed and raised his head to look at me in the dim starlight.

"I can't regret any of it then. Except the mistakes that hurt others."

"We both made those, Tom. Someday, I'll share some of mine with you. You're not alone when it comes to mistakes. War seems to bring out the worst in all of us." I rubbed my thumb across his cheek and he turned just far enough to lick it.

Oh gods, he was tasting me to go along with his sniffing me in the sickbay a few days before.

"More." I whispered and he kissed me. This time our mouths opened and I tasted him as well. The herbal tea only partially masked the frijhas chips he'd eaten earlier. But underlying it all was just . . . Tom. Tasty and addictive. Our tongues slowly rubbed against each other and when his tickled the roof of my mouth, I groaned a chuckle.

He pulled back just far enough for me to see his smile. "You like that?"

"Like isn't strong enough, Tom." I kissed the corner of his mouth and licked my way across his jaw and behind his ear. He'd turned towards me, curling his legs up onto the couch and I held him against my chest with questing hands that kneaded his back into relaxation.

"Hm-m-m, that feels good." He whispered.

"I like touching you. I dreamed of you. Of kissing you. But it wasn't as good as the real thing." 

He raised his head and we kissed again. Sweetly, tenderly but with passion lying underneath. There was time to go slow and so we did. After an hour of touching and holding and speaking softly of the future, we left the lounge for our respective rooms. It was hard to say good night but he needed the space to think about us and I was afraid of going too fast. So, I just wished him sweet dreams and left him at his door.

My dreams were sweet indeed.

*******************

Chakotay called me into his office the next morning. "Gregor. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

I blushed. I couldn't help it. His question brought back the wet dream I'd awakened from a short hour before. Tom's mouth should be declared a lethal weapon. "No. Why do you ask?"

He quirked an eyebrow at me and waited patiently. It's one of those things I really dislike about him. He can out wait any of us. And has. But this time I had someone to protect and I was prepared to beat him at his own game. So, I sat back and folded my arms.

"Let me put this another way. Is there a reason that we shouldn't send the two of you down to see if you can pry loose the crystal?"

Damn, he's good. "No, there isn't. I think we'll work well together."

"I see." And his dark eyes seemed to look deep into my soul. "Very well. Go get fitted out for a respirator and goggles. I doubt there's any air left in the cave."

I was out of my seat before he'd finished talking and headed for the door.

"And Gregor?" His voice was concerned. "You know you can come and talk to me at anytime."

I didn't turn. "I know. Thanks." And I left for the transporter room, relieved to be gone from his all-seeing eyes. Maybe someday I would go to him and try to explain myself, but not now. Not when we were still so new and fragile.

I met Tom in the transporter room and let B'Elanna fuss over our equipment. The sonic cutter we were taking with us was the largest one in the inventory and it taxed my strength to wrestle onto the platform. B'El helped Tom adjust his respirator while Harper helped me. Our eyes met over our helpers and neither of us could hide our grins.

The Captain joined us with a few last minute instructions and the statement that we would be monitored constantly, both conversation and biorhythms. If anything fluctuated, we'd be yanked out of there. Sounded good to us. She wished us luck and we switched on our helmet lights and breathers before watching the room dissolve around us.

The cave was pitch black except for our small lights. It was Tom's first look at the crystal and he drew in a sharp breath at its icy brilliance. He touched it wonderingly. While our lights played across the up-thrusting shards of the triple crystal, it seemed to change color. First green, then pink followed by rapid slides into yellow, blue, purple and red. Then it was back to a cloudy white.

I lugged the cutter over to it but stopped when he stretched out his other hand. "Gregor, I don't think we should be cutting it. It's not dilithium. Just because we can doesn't mean we should. Look at the size of it. It's been growing here for millennium. This doesn't feel right."

'Lt. Paris. It would have been nice if you'd voiced this opinion before going down there.' The Captain's wry tones came over the comm link.

"Sorry, Captain. I hadn't seen it then. It's practically alive to my touch."

'Lt. Ayala. Are you of the same opinion?'

I touched the shard closest to me and was surprised at the temperature of the crystal. Almost warm to the touch and there was that play of colors again. I met Tom's eyes and smiled.

"I think I am, Captain. The crystal is warm but the cave is ice cold. And there's an odd play of colors within when ever we touch it. Wait a moment and we'll touch it together and see what happens."

Tom nodded and our hands met on either side of the main crystal shard. The colors surged beneath our fingers and a humming sound filled the cave with vibrations so strong I could taste and touch them. Our eyes locked and suddenly, I could feel Tom inside of me, so close we were one.

Then the vibrations grew stronger yet until the whole cave was trembling with the sound and earth and stone began to dance down upon us. My last thought was . . . earthquake.

*******************

I awoke in sickbay to silence. Opening my eyes, I wondered why I was there until with a start I remembered the cave. Sitting upright, I looked around, relaxing only when I saw Tom in the bed next to mine. He looked all right but I shakily got down from my bed to cross to him. His skin was warm to the touch and I held his hand in mine just because I could.

"Well, that answers one of my questions." Chakotay's voice sounded from the other side of the room.

I glanced over at him and shrugged my shoulders. "Was it another earthquake?"

"No. It appears to have been a . . . crystal-quake." He crossed to the other side of Tom's bed. "When your vital signs went off scale, we transported the two of you out of the cave. The crystal came with you. When you appeared on the pad, you were both unconscious but gripping the crystal and each other. We pried you loose and brought you here. That was three hours ago."

"Where's the crystal now?" I was intrigued but the rest of my attention was on Tom, willing him to wake up.

When his eye lashes fluttered against his pale cheeks, I gripped his hand hard and brought it to my lips. His beautiful blue eyes opened and gazed up at me in bewilderment. "Gregor?"

"Right here, Tom. It seems we precipitated a little quake of our own." And I repeated what Chakotay had just told me. When he saw the Commander watching us, he blushed hard and looked at me in dismay.

"When you're ready, come to the transporter room. We still have to decide what to do with the crystal. Did I mention that when we tried to beam it back to the planet, it absorbed the transporter beam?" Chakotay said with a smile before walking out of sickbay, leaving us to the holodoc's tender mercies.

After getting a clean bill of health from the doctor, we left for Tom's quarters. Rather shyly, he invited me in and began pacing through the living room. "He saw us holding hands. Did he say anything to you before I woke up?"

"Tom," I halted him with my hands on his shoulders, "he's all right with us. No, neither of us have said anything but he's not stupid and I think he saw this coming before I did."

"Really?" He looked frightened for a moment before resignation took its place. "Hopefully, he won't say anything to the others. I don't want them giving you a hard time."

I gathered him into a hug, his arms coming around my waist. "Tom, I don't care who knows. But right now, it would be nice if we didn't have to deal with the others. Just with us."

"Us. That's really scary, Gregor."

"I know, love. But remember, we're going to take it slow and sure." I tilted his head up to mine and kissed him softly. "Right now, we need showers and fresh uniforms. I feel like I'm wearing part of that mountain inside these clothes."

His laughter pealed through the quiet rooms and I joined him in laughing away the tension. His eyes were mischievous. "Can we shower together?"

I thought about it and threw caution to the winds. "Yes. But only showering. They're expecting us in the transporter room."

"All right!" He tugged me through the bedroom and into the small bathroom. We quickly stripped and he adjusted the temperature of the water while I feasted my eyes on his slim strong body.

Turning, he caught my lustful look and his entire body flushed. He held out his hand and pulled me with him into the shower. The hot water flowed over our bodies as we moved back and forth beneath the shower head. Soaping each other, I luxuriated in the feeling of his skin beneath my fingers. Satin and silk. Long lean muscles that flexed beneath my touch.

But the touch of his hands threatened to destroy me. Such shy, hesitant slides across my shoulders and down my back. But it was the look of wonder in his eyes that helped me keep control. For some reason, this was new to him. So, I kept it playful, dabbing soap bubbles on his nose and tickling his ribs with soap slick hands. We laughed through the entire shower and finally emerged thoroughly clean.

Toweling off, I wrapped the bath sheet around me and went to replicate a clean uniform. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Tom dress, wondering why watching him put on clothes was almost as much of a turn on as watching him take them off. When he pulled the pants up over his legs, I had to look away. I could just picture those long slim legs wrapped around my waist and I immediately began to swell.

So I thought instead of the earthquake and the cold dark cave to bring myself under control. I pulled on my uniform and finished putting on my shoes seated on his couch. When I looked up, I caught him watching me with fascinated eyes.

"What? Did I miss something?"

He blushed and shook his head. "You look so strong without your clothes on. Muscles on top of muscles."

I rose and crossed the room to him. "And I was just admiring your runner's build. All lean lines and long muscles."

"You could probably break me in half without even trying." He shook his head at my compliment.

He'd get used to them in time. "But I won't. That's not at all what I'd like to do with you."

I kissed him gently and he sighed against my lips. Then he pulled away with a smile. "I'm surprised the Captain hasn't commed us by now. We'd better get to the transporter room."

"Yes. I wonder how the crystal came with us. I could have sworn it was rooted deep in the floor of the cave." I speculated on the possible causes while we walked to the nearest turbo lift.

The Captain and Chakotay were both there, along with a full team of science crew. Every sensor or diagnostic tool I'd ever seen on board was there and the general level of frustration was high.

"Thank you for coming, gentlemen." The Captain sent us a piercing look. "Does it look the same to you?"

"It looks smaller, laying on its side like that." Tom knelt by the massive crystal.

"And it's cloudier than before, unless the helmet lights just didn't do it justice." I added, stretching out my hand at the same time that Tom touched it.

The colors were more brilliant this time. Bright arcs of light that laced through the three shards and out into the room, painting everything and everyone in it with the same fantastic hues. This time, the connection between Tom and I was instantaneous. For a long moment, I touched his soul and felt him touch mine. And he was just as beautiful inside as he was on the outside. 

His blush told me he'd felt my love and admiration but I could feel such delight coming from him to me that I had to close my eyes to savor the sensations. The rough hands that dragged me away from the crystal hurt with the loss of the link between us.

"What the hell was that? Are they all right?" Janeway's voice was harsh and I felt my ears cringe from the sound. All my senses were on edge, heightened by the crystal. The lights were too bright, the hands too hard on my arms, the smell of fear acute in the room and my hands ached for the touch of the cool crystal.

I shook my head and shrugged off the helping hands. Slitting my eyes against the too bright light, I looked for Tom. He was sitting across from me with his own helpers and his gaze was on me, his eyes dilated and wide.

"That's what happened when we touched it before." Tom's voice was hoarse.

B'Elanna reached out and ran her hand down one side. Nothing. No color change or vibration. Harper was right behind her and his touch also provoked nothing. Together they touched it and a faint color washed through it but then . . . nothing.

Tom and I sat to one side while they discussed a plethora of theories. Under cover of the arguments, I ran a finger over his hand. "Are you really all right?"

His voice was a whisper. "Yes. Did you feel the . . . connection between us?"

"Oh yes." I breathed out, wishing I could take his hand in mine or better yet, take him in my arms and hold him.

"Me too. I wish I could hold you as well." He wasn't even looking at me but he must have felt my start of surprise. "What?"

"Are you becoming a mind reader?"

He turned and tilted his head in question.

"I was just wishing I could hold you. And we're not touching it now." My voice held a question.

"Captain, I think Tuvok should try melding with it. What if it's a sentient being?" Tom pitched his voice to Janeway and she looked at him thoughtfully.

"An excellent idea." She tapped her comm badge and requested his presence. The next few moments passed very slowly and I spent them trying not to lean against Tom. Our little fingers were touching and that had to suffice.

The Vulcan arrived and listened to the myriad of explanations. When the Captain asked him to try a meld, his eyebrow went up and he listened gravely to the reasons why we thought it might be sentient. He nodded slowly and asked the room be cleared except for command staff. 

The others left with muttered protests but B'Elanna sped them on their way with a growl. She was good at that. He knelt by the crystal, much as we had done and placed his hands upon it. For a long moment, nothing happened. Then a deep pulsing vibration began to fill the room and the crystal changed to a brilliant yellow.

"I am the memory of my people." Tuvok's eyes were open but unseeing. His voice had a hollow sound unlike his normal warm tones. "I was left to grow when they passed on. It has been so very long since I was filled with their presence. I will store your memories now. On your journey. You are now my people."

The color died away when Tuvok pulled his hands from the surface and sat back on his heels. His eyes closed and he took several deep breaths before opening them again. "It is a sentient being. And it chose to come with Paris and Ayala when they awakened it from its long sleep."

"Why did it react to us so strongly?" Tom asked him before I could.

He looked at us gravely. "We shall have to ask it later. Right now, I think we can safely transport it to the hydroponics bay. That appears to be the best place for it. The vibrations need to be as far from the warp core as possible."

"Even now, there's a low level buzz." Tom said wonderingly.

At his words, I realized that I could feel it as well like a fizz in my blood. "I thought you said that it absorbed the transporter beams."

"It did." Chakotay reached out and touched the crystal.

Nothing. So he bent and lifted it into his arms and the Captain drew in her breath and pinned him with a steely look. "Straight to hydroponics and we post a guard to make sure it stays undisturbed."

"Agreed." He was dwarfed by the huge crystal and already breathing heavily. Tuvok wrapped his hands with what looked like a pair of oven mitts from the replicator and took part of the burden from him. B'Elanna went ahead of them to open the doors and clear their path, with Janeway close behind.

I stood up and pulled Tom with me. "I need some dinner. How about we go to my place and replicate something. Maybe that jalepeno pepper soup you told me about?"

He smiled and nodded. "Sounds good. With some of your frijhas chips."

"And pistachio ice cream for dessert." I nodded to the others who were talking excitedly around us.

The door swooshed shut behind us and we headed to my rooms for the next step of our journey. It looked like the crystal had added a new dimension to our growing relationship. But the investigation could wait for now. Slinging my arm around Tom's shoulders, I pulled him close and waited for the fizz in my blood to go away.

Hopefully, it never would.


	3. Prisms 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crystal is fascinated by the crew of Voyager.

Prisms 3

*********************

I woke up with a heavy weight blanketing me. Tom had rolled over in the night or I'd pulled him on top and now I had a living breathing comforter. We were both wearing pajama bottoms but nothing else and I could feel our sexes nestled together between our groins. It felt so right, I hugged him tighter to me. But not tight enough to wake or frighten him. 

He'd already awakened once from a nightmare that almost sent him right out of the bed. I saw sanity return to those expressive blue eyes when he saw me. Really saw me . . . Gregor Ayala, friend and perhaps someday, lover. He didn't even try to make light of his fear. Just shook his head and explained that sometimes he forgot where he was.

I nodded and got up to make us some tea. We drank it while sitting propped up in bed, side by side but not touching. Haltingly, he spoke of prison and survival and how Captain Janeway had saved him from death in more ways than one. I listened and said nothing, letting him lay himself bare for me while I ached inside for the pain he'd suffered.

He finally quieted, his eyes on the cup he clutched in his hand. All his muscles were finely tensed while he waited for me to pass judgment. But I just took his cup and set both of them aside so I could take his cold hand in mine. And then I spoke of the war and the Maquis and the pain of betrayal when the friend I trusted sold out my original cell to the Federation.

He tensed when I spoke of a traitor before he realized the timing was wrong. His eyes widened when he learned of my time on the prison ship transporting us to the planet where the Maquis were being gathered like bait in a trap for the others, the fact that Chakotay had rescued us before reaching Hell and the satisfaction of breaking the guard's neck who had so abused us.

By that point in my story, we were back in each other's arms and had slid down under the covers, our heads resting on a single pillow. I'd never spoken of those days when despair fought with anger. Not even to Chakotay. 

"It's a circle, isn't it, Gregor?" Tom had whispered softly. "Chakotay saves you while Janeway is saving me. Then I save Chakotay and you save me while the Maquis and the Federation crews save each other."

I smiled and kissed him gently, savoring his strength in my arms. "Yes, Tom. A circle that never ceases to spin."

We'd fallen back asleep shortly thereafter and I wondered now, what time it was. Would Tom think we were going too fast? Intimacy is a privilege especially on a ship this size with a captive crew. It's why we love going down to a planet. That certain knowledge that for a few brief hours, it's just you with an entire world to explore.

I felt a wetness on my shoulder and realized that Tom was awake and tasting me again. My hands began a slow stroke up his back from their resting place at his waist. The skin there is silky smooth and so very, very warm beneath my hands. I could touch him forever.

"You taste good, Gregor. Even better than frijhas chips. Saltier and just as spicy." His voice is sleep roughened and I let it flow over me like a caress. He raised his head and looked down at me, the sleepy blue gaze wondering over my face with such an interesting look on his face.

"What?" I gaze fondly on his flushed and creased cheek.

"You have a serious case of bed-head. One of the worst I've ever seen." He said solemnly but with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

I snorted with laughter and ran a hand through his blond hair with intent to tousle but he ducked laughingly, slithering off me and out of the bed. "Shower?" He asked, holding out his hand invitingly.

Thinking of the last shower we'd taken, I swung my legs over the side and took his hand. "Absolutely. There's a spot on my back that I think we missed yesterday."

"I promise not to miss it today." He tempted me with a sultry look from under his eyelashes.

I could feel myself harden beneath the light cotton of the pajamas. "I'll hold you to that."

We stripped off in the small bathroom and Tom adjusted the heat to a good rousing steam that soon billowed through the room. We took quick turns under the head to get wet and then began to play with the soap. This time I took the learning route around his body, soaping each part with my hands. Arms first then the shoulders sloping down the long muscles of his back.

His fingers were busy rubbing bubbles into my chest hair with a whorl of spiral patterns that soon encompassed my nipples. My involuntary moan brought his eyes to mine with a questioning look. I smiled and repeated the motion on his own pectorals with a gentle touch to the pale pink nubs among the golden curls of his chest. His eyes widened and his lips made a silent 'o'.

I put aside the question as to why he didn't know his nipples were an erogenous zone and intensified the pressure to just short of a pinch. He was breathing deeply and his hands moved to my waist, holding on to my hips with an almost bruising grip before he slipped one hand to shyly stroke my rising shaft.

"Tom, you don't have to. Oh, that's nice." I tried to keep my calm but the thought that his hand was holding me so intimately, kept me on edge.

"I know I don't but you feel so soft and silky. Why did your parents have you circumcised?"

"Family tradition. Both my sons are as well." My breath was coming quicker with his slow slide up my shaft with his loose grip covered in the slick soap. Intensifying my caress to his nipples, I rolled the hardening nubs between my thumb and forefinger and pulled him to one side slightly so the water would cascade over his chest while I rinsed him clean.

He tightened his hand involuntarily around me and it felt wonderful. But when I lowered my head to his chest and began to lap at the hardened nubs, he groaned and slumped back against the shower wall. I moved closer and drew his cock into my hands. The dual stimulus seemed to overwhelm him and he panted out my name. "Gr-gr-gregor."

I wanted to drop to my knees and take him in fully but that would definitely be going too fast. I wanted him comfortable with each step of our intimacy. And I had to admit to enjoying the slow buildup to release. He was copying my every move now with his own hands and I moved back up to his mouth because we were both close.

His lips opened to me immediately and our tongues mated along with our hands. I felt my balls tighten up and increased my strokes to his shaft. When I pulsed forth, I gripped him into his own release. The evidence of our climax washed away slowly and I felt a languor roll over me when I broke our kiss and rested my head on his shoulder. His head lolled back against the wall and he took a shuddering breath.

"Oh . . . my . . . god." His words whispered to me and I looked up to make sure it was a good oath. The smile in his eyes told me everything was all right.

"Let's finish washing before we run Voyager out of hot water." I suggested with a grin and he laughed.

We washed each other's backs and legs and rinsed off before stepping out and grabbing a pair of towels. His stomach growled while we were drying and I realized I was starving. Redressing in our uniforms, we checked the time before deciding Sandrine's was our only bet but had too many people for our mood. So we replicated dinner and ate it at Tom's dining table just big enough for two.

"You're only the third person to eat here." He swirled his juice around gently in the glass. "Harry and B'Elanna both dined with me a couple of times. It feels a little odd to have someone else here."

"I usually eat in the dining hall. With whoever else is there." I finished my third pancake with raspberry sauce. "This is more relaxing. Not to mention better tasting."

"You missed a spot." He reached over and wiped a spot from my cheek. I turned my head fast enough to capture his finger and suck it into my mouth. His eyes widened and that twinkle came back.

The door buzzer went off, startling us both. He sat back and took a deep breath then rose and went to the door. It was Harry and he came in talking.

". . . every test we can think of. Do you have any idea what that crystal can do? It . . . it . . . suspends several physical laws and never gives the same reading twice. Practically the entire ship has touched it and only a couple made it change colors. It hummed for Seven then shut down completely." He noticed me for the first time. "Oh, hi, Greg. You've got red stuff on your chin. When are you going to come down to hydroponics and join in the tests?"

"Slow down, Harry. Breathe. Do you want something to drink? Or eat? Did you eat today at all?" Tom smiled indulgently at his friend with one hand casually anchoring his shoulder.

"Eat?" Harry stopped vibrating long enough to ponder the question. "Um, I don't remember. What time is it?"

I got up and replicated some more pancakes and a cup of my soothing tea. Tom guided him to the table and sat him down where he'd been sitting. I placed the plate in front of him and moved his hand to the cup handle.

"Oh, thanks. That smells good. I think I ate something a few hours ago. Maybe. Hm-m-m, this is delicious." Harry sniffed and drank some of the tea before cutting into the cakes and beginning to devour them.

"No talking, Harry. Finish that and then come join us." Tom jerked his head to the couch and I nodded. He joined me but sat a few hands breath away.

This was definitely a time to be circumspect so I just sat back and smiled at him. That made him blush for some reason and he grabbed a pillow and hugged it to himself.

"It's all right, Tom. I promised we would go slow." I whispered to him quietly and watched him look at me with an absorbed expression on his face while he thought about what I'd said.

"It's so new. I'd like to see where it's going first." He sighed a little and I held myself back from touching him. "Besides, I'm wondering how long it will take them to notice."

I laughed out loud at the look of mischief on his expressive face. Harry came over still wiping his lips and looked at us quizzically. "What's up with you two? Why did the crystal react to you so strongly?"

"I don't know, Harry. Why don't we go find out? Gregor?" Tom pulled me to my feet and squeezed my hand once before letting me go.

"I'm a little curious myself, Harry. It didn't feel inimical. At least to me." I answered him. We left Tom's quarters talking about some of the tests and speculating on what kind of sentience the crystal could be. It was fascinating to listen to Harry's dozen hypotheses while Tom asked just the right questions to winnow them down to a handful.

I pondered their friendship, an unlikely pairing on the surface but solid from the beginning. Not even when some of the Maquis had taken Harry aside and told him about Paris' guilt, did the young Ensign give up on his friend. Was he just smarter than the rest of us or did he see something that we missed?

Well, of course, he saw more truly than we did, I sighed to myself. Anger and hate are blinding influences. He wasn't so much naive as open to the whole man. He saw the fear and the self hatred none of the rest of us saw. It made me feel a fool and even more determined to accept Tom and all the parts that made him tick. Harry had given him unconditional acceptance and I could do no less.

Hydroponics was my second favorite place on the ship. The smells, absent from the ship because of the constant recycling and scrubbing of the air, couldn't be erased completely from this place where we tried to grow small luxuries. More importantly, the plants acted as a natural filter for the carbon dioxide and other pollutants humans give off.

A space had been cleared in the middle of the bay and the crystal sat tall in the clamps that anchored it to the deck. It reflected the light with little rainbows of color scattering over its surface. Tom and I looked at each other once before separating to join the two groups clustered on opposite sides. Harry and Tom joined the science side where I saw Geron listening avidly.

I joined Tuvok and the others who were eyeing the quiescent life form. "Sir. Any luck?" 

"Lt. Ayala." The Vulcan acknowledged me before drawing me to one side. "I would appreciate hearing what the crystal said or felt like to you."

"Parts of it came back to me while I slept." I acknowledged his need to know. "Colors and a humming sound just short of music. But mostly, I saw Tom. Inside and out. His feelings, fears, thoughts, memories." My voice died away because of a sudden need to touch him again which I had to fight with all my self control.

Laughter from the other group, brought both our eyes to them and I feasted my eyes on the wickedly grinning blonde who was teasing B'Elanna unmercifully. Our gaze met for just a moment and I felt it like a kiss from across the room. Had the crystal accelerated this feeling of love and need for both of us?

"Are the two of you friends, Lt. Ayala?" Tuvok's voice was calm, while his brown eyed gaze looked deep inside of me.

"Yes. We are. It began before we found the crystal. Before the attack on the planet. I suddenly saw him differently than I ever had before." It was hard to articulate but Tuvok was nodding so I stopped in grateful relief.

"Satisfactory, Lt. Ayala. Would you mind asking him to join us?"

"Sure. I'll be right back." I started over but Tom had already broken away and begun to make his way to us. I stopped, enjoying his graceful stride and the way his eyes came to mine, sparkling with mischief. Oh, he was a beauty.

"Gregor," he whispered under his breath, a slight flush blooming high on his cheeks. "You're devouring me with your eyes."

"Not all I'd like to devour." I said with a sigh and tried to discipline my wayward thoughts before turning back to the all-seeing eyes of the head of Security. "Tuvok wants your impressions of the crystal."

"Oh." He blushed harder and I found it erotic as all hell. Thinking cold, nasty thoughts to cool myself down, I turned back with Tom to the waiting Tuvok.

"Lt. Paris, if I may have your impressions of the crystal."

"Warmth. Soft touches that felt like wings brushing my body. I saw myself through Gregor's eyes briefly. As if I were inside him, kept safe and warm." Tom struggled to say it without blushing and the need to touch him was growing stronger.

"If I may, gentlemen." Tuvok gestured towards us. "I am curious about a bond that I sense between you. Would you allow a very superficial touch of both of you at the same time?"

I looked at Tom and saw the acceptance there but then he and Tuvok had once shared a mind meld when Tom had been accused of murder. So, I nodded and Tuvok stepped closer and took my left hand in his left while Tom held out his right. I felt nothing when the circuit was complete and the disappointment surprised me. What had I expected?

But Tuvok was nodding and when he placed my hand into Tom's grip and stepped away, the connection was there. The fizzing in the blood caused the need to touch subside and I could feel Tom relax into me, even though we stayed a few inches apart.

"Very interesting. I believe that your incipient bond was what triggered the crystal to full wakefulness. When you touched it together, it was prompted to come to complete awareness. None of the others who have touched it since are bonded and so we have no reaction or at the most, a very faint one." Tuvok looked back and forth between the two of us. "I will need to tell the Captain and Commander about this hypothesis."

Tom looked faintly uncomfortable and I wondered what he was thinking. I wanted to ease his pain but we were still so new that I had no clue how to do so. "Perhaps, we should touch it again with you in the meld and see what happens."

They both looked at me, Tom with startled eyes and Tuvok with a judicious air. 

"A controlled experiment, when we all know what may happen. With disciplined thoughts." He divided a measuring look between the two of us.

"Well, we can try." Tom said hesitantly and I felt a surge of affection for his bravery. "But do there have to be so many people in here when we do it?"

The rather plaintive question made me grin and Tuvok's eyebrow quivered slightly, his version of a smile. "I see your point, Lt. Paris. It is getting late and time for most of them to be asleep if we are to keep running this ship to peak efficiency."

We stayed to one side while he cleared the bay except for Harry and B'Elanna. The Captain showed up and helped shoo the others out. Chakotay appeared about ten minutes after she arrived. He has a real radar where she's concerned. I was starting to wonder how the crystal would react to the two of them touching it.

"Do you think . . .?" Tom asked me sotto voce, his eyes twinkling over at me.

"Be fun to watch the crystal react to them." I confirmed his thought with a little grin while keeping my eyes on the unsuspecting couple. I could tell Tuvok was telling them his theory and the look the Captain cast over at us was appraising but not really surprised. She was probably remembering my volunteering to watch over Tom in sick bay.

Tuvok beckoned us over and we headed for our next trip into the crystal. Tom was eager, his step light and his blue eyes gleaming. I was curious but a little hesitant. It's a trait that has stood me in such good stead over the years as a freedom fighter. But there was no way that Tom was going back in without me. And since the crystal reacted to both of us separately, he could probably join with it even if I wasn't there.

Chakotay gazed at both of us with his penetrating gaze while the Captain just touched Tom's cheek lightly with a slight smile. His smile in return was completely unshadowed and I rejoiced in his bond with the woman who held all our lives so carefully. I owed her a greater debt than I had known for her rescuing of Tom.

"Well, gentlemen, ready to test the theory?" Captain Janeway looked at me appraisingly. I could see her wondering if I was good enough for her wounded pilot. Her maternal feelings were showing.

"Yes, Ma'am." Tom said enthusiastically. "It didn't speak to us as it did to Tuvok. I hope it will this time."

"Perhaps. It requires disciplined thoughts, Lt. Paris." Tuvok said dryly. That was his way of joking.

Tom just smiled at him and took his position at the crystal's side. Tuvok stayed between us so I stood on the opposite side and watched Tom's eyes reflected through the clear crystal. Our hands reached out together and the cool surface drew our touch to the largest crystal shard.

The ship vanished instantly and I stood on a high plateau with a bright yellow sun beating down on me. Towering red rocks arose on every side. Scrub brush and cactus littered the landscape and I recognized the place from the stories of my mother's ancestors. This was Earth in ancient times when a few wandering tribes of nomads roamed the Southwest of a vast landmass. Volcanoes and great oceans had shaped the land with rough hands that tumbled rocks and earth in haphazard arrays.

The rock formation just behind me, on whose lower slopes I stood, was known to my mother's people as the Spear. A giant red phallic shape thrust skyward, balanced precariously in a bed of tumbled stone just like it. 

I looked around carefully and saw no other nearby. Not Tuvok or Tom. Not even the crystal. "Hello! Are you here, Crystal?"

//Yes. I am everywhere. You are inside of me and I am inside of you. I borrowed these memories so you would feel at home.//

"Thank you. I have never seen this place for myself. Only in the stories that my mother told me."

//Would you rather be somewhere else?//

"It is rather warm here." I was sweating like crazy and the dry desert air was sucking the moisture away from me as soon as it reached my skin.

Suddenly I was standing by the lake on Dorvan 5 where I'd grown up and returned to raise my family. The cool breeze flowing off the water brought tears to my eyes. "Thank you. This was home for many years. It's good to visit again."

//You have questions for me. The curious one asks many.//

"Tuvok. The curious one's name is Tuvok. Do you have a name that we should be using?" When he said 'curious', I'd received a picture of the Vulcan in my mind.

//I was never named by my creators. This is an interesting custom of yours. Can you not sense who another is without having a 'name' for them?//

"Yes and no. We name things so that we may speak of them to others and each of us then have a frame of reference that is the same." I struggled to explain while I wondered where Tom was.

//You are worried about your mate? He is within me as well. You call him Tom but his name is really Thomas. Why does he have two names that are not the same?//

I smiled and sat down on the bank of the lake. This could take some time. "Tom is a shortened form of Thomas. It's an affectionate name when spoken in love. Is he all right? Is he talking to you too?"

//All of you are talking to me. It has been very quiet over the centuries. I use your terms of reference for time. I slept after my people left. Tuvok is correct in his hypothesis. Your bond called to me and awoke me from my hibernation.//

"But why only us and Tuvok? Others have touched you and you do not acknowledge them."

//I was taught to respond only to the Elders of my people. They were all bonded pairs. Your Tuvok is bonded even though his mate is not present. It will take a little of your time for me to learn to interface with an unbonded person.//

"I see. Have you explained this to Tuvok?"

//Yes. He was very interested. Your mate is experiencing some distress.//

I leapt to my feet and tried to stay calm. "Why? Could you bring him here to me?" 

//The location freshest in his mind was a very grim place and I moved him to his family home as I did you but his mind does not respond as yours did.//

"Please bring him here to me or move me to where he is. We'll try to explain the why of his reaction to you." And I was there in what had to be his boyhood room while he stood in the corner with his arms wrapped around himself and his back to the wall, trembling.

He launched himself at me and I caught him into my embrace while trying to bring every inch of him into contact with me. "Tom. It's all right. I'm here and this place is just a memory the crystal borrowed."

He shivered and locked his arms around me, burrowing his face into the hollow of my neck and shoulder. "Gods, Gregor. It's like every nightmare I ever had in living breathing color. I couldn't make my mind work to get it to send me somewhere else."

"I went first to a place my mother told me stories about when I was a child. Then it sent me to Dorvan 5. Would you like to go there instead of here?" I rested my cheek against his silky hair and breathed in his clean scent. "Was this your room when you were growing up?"

He snorted against my throat and lifted his head to look around. "Yeah. Depressing, isn't it?"

I looked around the large room at the single bed made with military precision, the dresser with just four drawers, the table and chair with a study light in one corner and the two doors on opposite walls. There was no art on the walls and everything was a rather depressing shade of beige. It was a curiously neutral room for such a vivid young man that Tom had surely been.

I said as much and he laughed sadly. "He pretty much beat anything other than neutrality out of me. My father didn't believe in individuality or self expression. This place was just where I slept and studied. Would you like to see where I day dreamed?"

His shy question almost broke my heart. I had to clear my throat before I could answer. "I'd love to."

"Okay, how are you at climbing trees?" His blue eyes sparkled into mine and I laughed out loud at the impish look.

"Lead the way." I followed him to the single window and watched while he threw it open.

He flung a leg over the sill and leaned out. "Funny. It seemed much farther away when I was a kid. Crystal, can we be hurt if we fall here?"

//No. You are safe within the memories you bring but physically you are still in the hydroponics bay where I rest. You will be safe within my matrix, always.//

"Thank you. Follow me, Gregor." And with a smile over his shoulder, he grabbed an upper tree limb and swung out over the empty space. I watched his movements carefully and as soon as he was safe against the tree bole, I followed him. My stomach did a little free fall until I could grab Tom's outstretched hand and the nearest tree limb.

We climbed up and up until we reached a small wooden platform nestled between two limbs and the tree trunk. Tom settled down and propped his feet on a branch. I sat beside him, very close, wrapping my arm around his shoulder.

"I never brought anybody here before. This was my only refuge while I was growing up. I 'borrowed' the wood from a neighbor's work shop and built it over a weekend when Dad was gone to a conference." He rested his hand on my thigh and I covered it with my free hand. "When everything got to be too much, I'd climb up here and pretend it was a starship that I was flying far away."

//You are better now? Why did you react to your home with fear?//

Tom sighed. "I wasn't very happy growing up, Crystal. My father had very high expectations for me and they didn't include my flying full time. He was very . . . disappointed with me and when he was disappointed, he tended to take it out on me."

"You said he beat you." I ventured a comment.

"Yeah, sometimes. Frustration, mostly. But usually, he just blistered me with words. Hateful, horrible, never ending recitations of what I was doing wrong, why I hadn't met his expectations, how I was growing up shiftless, who I was disappointing, when was I going to realize that I had a responsibility to the family and where did I think I was going?" The blank look was back on his face and his hands were clenched in his lap.

I laid my free hand over his and let my love flow out into him. "You are the best pilot in the Delta Quadrant. You carry out your responsibilities to the very best of your ability, even to risking your own life for your shipmates. You have never let us down and you kept protecting us even when we didn't trust you. And if you'll let me, I will love you with all I am for as long as we have."

He looked at me with wide blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. A tentative smile quirked the corners of his mouth and he nodded slowly. "I'll try, Gregor. I really will."

Gently, I kissed him and his lips responded to mine instantly. I felt a hesitant tongue lick at my lower lip and I opened to him immediately. We kissed for a long moment before the crystal's voice interrupted us.

//This is very interesting. I did not know that some species do not care for their young. I would like to study this further when you next visit. The curious one wishes you to return to your bodies now. You may come back at any time.//

"Think of a name, why don't you? It feels odd to just call you Crystal." Tom pulled back just far enough to address the air around us.

//There is no hurry. I will winnow through the memories I've received from the three of you. Perhaps something will spark my interest.//

I felt a cold chill run up my spine. "How many of our memories do you now have, Crystal?"

//All of them.//

"Oh, my god." Tom's voice went up an octave.

//There is something wrong? When you linked with me, you gave me your memories. Why are you afraid?//

"Memories are very private things to humans. We share them rarely with each other and then we pick and choose what to share." I managed to get the words out. "What do you do with the memories?"

//I store them. This is my responsibility. I do not share them with others if that is your fear. Privacy is an interesting concept among your peoples.//

"It helps keep us sane, Crystal." Tom sagged back against me and I held him tightly. "We would really appreciate you keeping our memories apart. We are newly bonded and part of the fun of a good relationship is taking the time to share our memories with each other."

"I couldn't have said it better myself." I squeezed him and heard his breath catch. "Especially as you gain more of the crews memories, they need to know that they will be safe with you."

//I see. Most interesting. I look forward to them.//

The crystal's voice faded and I was back in the hydroponics’ bay again. We all three let go of the crystal at the same time and sat back with a sigh. The other four ringed us with expectant faces and barely concealed questions.

"Most interesting." Tuvok's dry voice echoed the crystal's own comments. "A very inquisitive entity."

"Funny, Tuvok. He said the same thing about you." Tom spoke up with a glimmer of mischief in his voice.

"Gentlemen." Captain Janeway spoke in her no-nonsense command voice. "Why is it only responding to the three of you?"

Tom and I looked at Tuvok and he nodded briefly. "It appears that the Elders of his people were all bonded pairs. Even though I am alone, it sensed my bonding to T'Pel."

"But that would mean that Gregor and Tom were . . ." Harry's voice wavered.

"Yep, Harry. It would." Tom's voice was quiet and controlled while his eyes locked with mine.

"Gregor? And Tom?" B'Elanna's voice growled and I steeled myself for a diatribe. But she surprised me with a slap to the shoulder that would probably leave a bruise later. "You could have told us."

"Well, it was kind of a surprise to me, too." Tom shook his head shyly and I saw Harry pat his arm. There was still a faintly worried look on his face when he looked at his friend. I could practically tell what he was thinking.

Was I going to hurt Tom the way all his other lovers had? Would I understand his hopes and fears? Could I love him the way he deserved to be loved? I could foresee a private talk with the Ensign in the very near future.

"I woke up one morning and realized that I was missing a friend. Who became a lover." I kept it as simple as I could while still preserving our privacy.

His eyes warmed and a sultry look melted me to the floor. "We'd appreciate it if you kept it among us, for now." His eyes went to the Captain. "It might be fun to see how long it takes the rest of the crew to notice?"

Her lips quirked. "Of course. You wouldn't by any chance be going to make book on when they *do* discover your new relationship?"

"Why, Captain, I'm wounded by the suggestion." His eyes sparkled at her. "I thought maybe B'El could. For a percentage."

We all broke into laughter and Tom got his own punch from the Chief Engineer. Tuvok raised an eyebrow and waited for us to quiet down.

"What then are we to tell the rest of the crew about why the crystal responds to the three of us?"

Tom replied quickly. "He said he was working on being able to interface with unbonded humans. I wonder if it's a question of harmonics?"

Harry reached over and touched the crystal. A ripple of color raced through it and his eyes widened. I saw them glaze over while we stood there and watched him link to the crystal. It was fascinating to watch and I wondered if the three of us had looked like that.

"How long were we inside the crystal?" I asked.

"About five minutes." Chakotay volunteered.

"What?" Tom's eyes widened. "It felt like an hour or two."

"The crystal appears to be able to bend time and light." Tuvok eyed it speculatively. "Studying it will take some effort on our part. Its frame of reference is not ours so we must be careful in our dealings with it. I suggest no one interfaces with it unless there is at least one other present. And the crew must be informed that the crystal stores *all* memories when the link is formed."

"All? As in remembered and unremembered?" The Captain's eyebrow went up. "That could be awkward."

"Tell me about it." Tom shuddered while he watched Harry closely. "He said our memories were safe and that he wouldn't share them with others. Even with our bonded halves."

Harry shook his head and Tom was quick to pull him away while he and B'Elanna supported him. He stood there for a moment and his eyes were distant with memories. "That was incredible. There's so much to learn from him."

"Not tonight." Captain Janeway spoke up decisively. "Or rather this morning. Tuvok, post a guard with instructions for the crystal to remain untouched until we can begin a series of experiments with some safeguards in place."

"We need to continue filling the stores with supplies from the planet." Chakotay added. "This could wait until we are ready to move on from this world."

"Yes. I agree." Captain Janeway nodded. "But it may know where more of the dilithium crystals can be found. So, tomorrow, I mean today, we need to ask it. Tuvok, that can be your job. Unless B'Elanna would like to try a link?"

"May I think about it, Captain?" Her voice was less certain than I'd ever heard it.

"Certainly. No one will ever have to link if they don't wish to. I will have to think about whether I *can* initiate a link with it. My memories are full of secrets and information from Star Fleet that no one else should know." Janeway's voice was contemplative.

I hadn't even thought about the whole command structure and the problems it could cause. I could see Chakotay struggling with his desire to link with the crystal. But he was ship's counselor and the secrets he knew were not for sharing. This could really be a problem I was glad I hadn't had to consider.

Tom was smiling at me and he nodded briefly before he asked the next question. "Too late for us, Captain. You can use us to ask your questions if you decide you shouldn't. He already knows all we are."

"And once he figures out how to speak to us without a human interface, you may be able to talk with him without linking." I hesitantly volunteered. "If he can."

"Enough for tonight. I will see all of you during second shift today." The Captain dismissed us and Harry dragged Tom off while B'El cornered me and suggested Sandrines.

We spent an hour talking about life and love and the Delta Quadrant. She was envious but resigned to Tom's and my bond. She spoke rather nostalgically about their short termed romance. B'El told me she wasn't patient enough to fight her way through all his layers of defense and she wished me luck.

I walked her back to her quarters before heading to mine. It felt wrong to be here alone, without Tom. But I couldn't crowd him. He deserved his privacy and had fought long and hard for it all his life. But the need to touch and hold was strong and it took all my self discipline to just send him a message of love via the computer and get ready for bed.

It felt odd to be showering alone and I conjured up the warm wet body who'd played so beautifully with me earlier. My own hands just didn't make my skin feel alive anymore. The other half of my soul was absent and I felt curiously numb. *Damn it. It never felt like this with Seri. I mustn't smother him or make him feel trapped. I can't cling and hold him too tightly or I'll scare him away. But, oh gods, I need him like I need oxygen to breathe.*

A gust of air was all the warning I had before warm arms slid around my waist and hugged me tightly. "Hey, Gregor. That's my job from now on."

I turned into his arms and kissed him desperately. His lips parted immediately and our tongues mated with passionate fervor. He seemed to catch fire under my devouring mouth, vibrating in my arms. I caught hold of my self-control and managed to break the kiss.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you like that." I couldn't meet his eyes. Where was all my fine talk about going slow and taking it easy?

"Gregor. Look at me." His voice was soft but firm and I raised my eyes slowly. "You didn't hurt me. And I'm not afraid anymore of whatever we're becoming. I've never been in love before but if this is what it feels like, then I'm ready. For anything."

He's so brave in his loving, even though he doesn't think he knows what that is. I nodded and drew him under the water with me. The moment was too fragile and my control too uncertain to allow any thing but a leisurely washing. No playing or exciting each other this time. Just a gentle loving cleansing of both our bodies. Learning the different slopes and plains of our different body types. 

We dried each other tenderly and Tom stood flushed and sleepy eyed before me. "Please, can we go to bed now? I don't think I can stay awake any longer."

I suddenly felt as if I were stumbling through treacle and I managed a nod. We supported each other into my bedroom and crawled in together, pulling the cover over us with a sigh. He settled into my arms as if he'd always been there and I felt something cold melt inside me. The fear that this wouldn't work was gone, dissolved by his courage.

"I love you, Tom. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, Gregor. Thank you for not giving up on me."

"Never, love. Just don't give up on yourself. We need you too badly to lose you now." I spoke over a lump in my throat.

He hesitated and raised his head from my shoulder to gaze down at me. "I promise, Gregor. But you need to promise too. No crazy security stuff without thinking of me first. We both have someone to lose now. Okay?"

"Okay." I felt tears gather and quickly closed my eyes but one escaped.

His lips caught it before it could fall and his tongue lapped it away. Those soft lips brushed mine tenderly and I heard his voice through a thick fog. "Sleep now, Gregor. We're both safe."


	4. Prisms 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They grow a little more in their love.

Prisms 4  
By Athea  
************************* 

I woke up with Tom curled into my side, his head on my shoulder and his hand on my stomach with one leg slung over mine. Grinning at the claim of ownership he’d unconsciously staked in his sleep, I took a deep breath and inhaled him like I would a Denabian rose. He smelled of soap and shampoo but underneath it all was just . . . Tom, my very favorite bouquet.

Suddenly I had to fight the urge to lay my own claim to the man who nestled so calmly beside me. His words from the shower last night came back to me. I’d never been in love like this before but if this is what it feels like, then I’m ready. For anything. I wanted that to be true but I was still feeling my way, unsure of what might spook him into shutting down again.

He stirred and stretched a little, making a sleepy murmur that might have been my name. I held my breath, waiting to see if he was really awake or just ready to sink back into sleep. When I felt his tongue rasping over my skin, I hoped he was aware of what he was doing. 

“Hm-m-m, you taste good.” The husky voice did something severely dangerous to my libido as did the wandering hand that stroked the skin above my groin. Sleepy blue eyes opened and peered up at me with such a look of wonder in them, I had to take a deep breath and rein in my quickening pulse. Wonder changed to mischief and he grinned at the same moment his fingers tangled in my pubic hair, sliding down to lightly stroke my hardening cock. “Good morning, Gregor. I see you’re already . . . up.”

I think I growled his name but he was already slipping down over my body, dragging his skin over every inch of mine he could reach and settling between my splaying thighs. His hand was warm on my shaft, frictioning up and down with a gentle rhythm that made me groan. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, the tousled blond hair standing up every which way and the look of awe in the sparkling blue eyes as he gazed at my hardening cock where it lifted towards him.

“You don’t have to do anymore than you’re already doing, Tom. The way you make me feel, it won’t take much.” I managed to try and reassure him as his grip tightened until I could feel each individual finger.

“Oh, I don’t know. He looks like he’d enjoy a little more stimulation.” His grin was devilish to say the least and I had to grip the sheets on either side of my body at the first touch of his tongue.

That maddening, teasing, ever so agile tongue. Alternately tender then rasping, raising my temperature along with my arousal, I was as hard as durilium by the time he’d flicked that little spot under the flaring head twice. I never once let my eyes close although my brain wanted to shut down completely. I had to keep watching him drive me mad as he took me into his warm wet mouth and gently sucked. I needed to move but I was afraid to thrust up and risk gagging him.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he engulfed me in warmth until he’d taken me right down to the root. My whole body was trembling and I had a death grip on the sheets they might not survive. Tom’s eyes had locked on mine and when he hummed, the vibration broke me into little pieces. I shuddered and arched, coming deep into his throat. His swallowing milked me of everything I had while his strong arms held my hips down.

And our eyes never once left each other.

I have never seen anything so erotic in my life as Tom delicately cat-licking away any stray drops of my seed from around my sensitized groin. It was almost enough to harden me again except for the complete totality of my climax. Letting go of the sheets, I brought one hand up to touch his cheek with trembling fingers. I have never loved anyone as much in my life as I did Tom at that moment.

“You taste better than good, Gregor.” He pulled himself higher until he could reach my mouth, sharing my seed with his slow kiss. When he pulled away, he rested his head over my heart. “Addicting.”

I’d caught my breath by now and I pressed another kiss onto the soft hair under my chin. “Protein builds strong muscles and I think I’ll indulge myself this morning.”

Feathering little caresses to the ticklish skin of his sides, I made him convulse with laughter as he mock fought me off. Then our positions reversed and I found myself on top of his squirming body. Fearful of making him feel constrained, I started to slide off but Tom stopped me with a gentle shake of his head.

“You make me feel safe, Gregor. I’m here because I want to be . . . not because I have to be.” His gaze turned far away, his blue eyes pensive. “I’m trying to remember the last time I felt like this. Strong . . . sure . . . capable of making my own decisions.” He shrugged and came back to me with a wondering look. “Loved . . .” His hand came up and stroked my cheek. “Never. No one’s ever made me feel like this. Thank you.”

I couldn’t catch my breath. The gift of his trust was almost too much to comprehend. So rarely given and so often abused by those he should have been able to trust, I was humbled by his words and unable to come up with any of my own. So, I kissed him, putting all of my own feelings of love and trust into the slide of lip against lip.

But this kiss was gentle, more a sealing of our pact to love and care for each other rather than an incitement to lust. His mouth should be declared a lethal weapon since he destroyed all my defenses with just a tender slide of his tongue against mine. I shaped him with my hands, moving lower and lower until I’d grasped his hard heat.

He arched up with a breathy little moan that destroyed the last of my fears of taking him too far, too fast. Moving down his body, following my hands with my mouth, was a voyage of hedonistic discovery. His navel was ticklish and he squirmed when I lapped at it with my tongue.

“Gregor!” He chortled under his breath and I grinned up at him, never stopping the little flutter of my tongue against his sweat slick skin. “No fair, lover. I didn’t tickle you.”

I grabbed his hands with mine so he couldn’t pull my hair again. “Not my fault your skin is so sensitive, Tom. I’ve got a hide like a rhinoceros, so I doubt you could find a ticklish spot on me.”

His eyes gleamed and he flexed his fingers in mine. “Be fun to try. Why I might have to taste and touch every inch of your body.”

My blood heated at his teasing words. “Why, so you would.” 

But for now, I decided that the bobbing hardness beneath my chin deserved the same careful attention I’d just given his stomach. At the first touch of my bristling chin, he went still, shivering with suppressed need. I moved slowly up one side, across the velvet tip and down the other side. He was making little mewling sounds in between his panting groans. Going back to the leaking slit, I lapped the clear fluid before settling in to tongue wash his whole cock.

He was shivering now with the need to have more of me and I slowly obliged him. Protecting his tender skin from my teeth, I engulfed just the head, running my tongue round and round in warm, wet circles. He was chanting my name now in a soft mantra of sound that was music to my ears. Adjusting my angle, I continued on down until my nose was buried in the soft red-gold curls of his groin.

Risking a look up at him, I exulted in his heated gaze. It was his turn to grasp the sheets while I teased him with a slight suction and small tongue movements. I swear I could see steam rising from his torso and when I used my free hand to play with his balls, he began to undulate beneath me, not quite thrusting up. He was leaking copiously now and I didn’t want our play to become a torment so I began a swallowing motion that acted on him as his humming had worked on me.

He thrust up once before releasing in jerky spasms down my waiting throat. I backed off enough so I could taste him better and applied just enough suction to be sure that I got every drop of his bittersweet essence. He came to a shuddering halt and lay limp beneath me, little tremors still racing over his damp skin. We were going to need a shower after this, I thought to myself. Smiling, I slid up over his body and delicately nuzzled under his chin.

“You’re going to kill me with pleasure, Gregor.” His whisper sounded right by my ear.

“Ah, but what a way to go, Tom.” I rolled over and pulled him atop my body like a blanket. “You have no room to talk after giving me a heart attack with that wicked tongue of yours.”

I felt his grin against my throat. “We’ll go together then?”

“Always.” I kissed the damp hair beneath my cheek and ran my hands down his back. “But until we do, I think it’s time we shower and face the world.”

He stilled the soft moist kisses beneath my ear and raised up high enough to show me his frown. “Do we have to?”

I understood his reluctance. “Aren’t you the least bit curious if B’Elanna decided to link to the Crystal? And if we never leave these rooms then somebody is going to notice.”

He grinned a little but I could see his mind racing ahead to all the problems that might occur. I could see them too but it was worth it. He was worth it. Maybe I should let him know that? But before I could open my mouth, he beat me to it.

“This Pollyanna streak of yours would be really annoying except for the fact that you really believe that.” Sighing, he kissed me gently. “And you’re worth everything, Gregor. I just don’t want you to regret this.”

“I could never regret loving you. I’m going to remind you of this conversation about fifty years from now.” Part of me wondered how he’d known what I was thinking while the rest of me just wanted to reassure him. “And we’ll laugh at our fears and celebrate our lives together.”

“Goodness, I’ve fallen in love with a romantic.” He joked but I saw the glint of tears in his eyes. And his statement struck me dumb.

He’d said it out loud. It was all I could do to keep my elation contained inside so I hugged him hard and took his mouth in a searing kiss that melted us both into a puddle of boneless contentment. Luckily, the comm chime distracted us or we might never have gotten out of bed.

“Ayala, here.”

“Gregor, are you free for breakfast?” Geron’s voice came over the speaker.

I exchanged a quick look with Tom and waited for his nod before answering. “Sure. How about you give me half an hour and then stop by to get me?”

“Okay. Geron out.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay with us?” Tom rolled out of bed and strolled towards the bathroom.

I followed him with my eyes first, enjoying the rippling effect of muscles in motion down that long back, over the taut buttocks and on down the long legs. A beautiful sight indeed. A glance from laughing eyes reminded me of his question and I sprang from bed to follow him.

“I think he’ll be insufferably pleased that he’s the one who brought us together.” I said over the spurting water jets.

Tom stepped under the steaming water and held out a hand to draw me in. “Well, I’m more than willing to give him the credit. He’s a good kid.”

I lathered the soap between my hands and began massaging the tempting back in front of me. “He’s growing up and I worry that he’ll never find someone to love. We’re all so much older than he.”

Arching under my hands, Tom turned around and squirted shampoo onto my head. His strong fingers soaped my hair and massaged my scalp until I could hear myself purring. “If I could find someone, Geron will have no trouble at all finding his other half.”

I opened my eyes to gaze into his. “That’s what it feels like. Finding the other half of my soul. Did we do this or is it some side effect of the Crystal?”

He smiled gently and nudged me under the jets to rinse my hair. “I think the Crystal just sped up the process. We were already half way there. It seems like we’ve been courting for months. You were very patient with me, Gregor.”

Blinking the water from my lashes, I grinned. “It has been months. Ever since you created that beautiful program with Geron’s village in it.”

His eyes went wide and his mouth kind of fell open. “That long?”

“That long.” I soaped him well and turned him into the water jets. He went docilely and I could almost hear him thinking, remembering and sorting out my actions in the last four months. That was okay with me since he was so busy thinking that I was able to let my soapy hands roam where they wanted.

I was careful not to entice too much or caress too hard; we didn’t have time for another session before Geron came to get us. He was still thinking when I turned off the water and handed him a clean towel. I was trying to decide what I should wear, no longer sure what shift I was on. A quick computer check told me that both Tom and I were off duty until further notice. 

Captain’s orders.

“Hey, Blue Eyes, we’re off duty until the Captain says otherwise.” I headed for the closet and my leisure wear.

“You’re kidding.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ll have to replicate something.”

I slowed and watched him carefully. Had there been an uncertain note in his voice? “I was hoping that you might leave several somethings here. It’s probably too soon to move in together.”

“Move in?” His gaze went from surprised to thoughtful in the space of a heartbeat. “That really would blow our cover, Gregor. You really want us to?”

“Yes, I do but only when you’re ready. I’ve got experience with living with someone but I don’t expect you do.” I halted in front of him and cupped his cheek in my hand. “It can be heaven when everything is going well and hell when it isn’t. That’s something we can work up to.”

He nodded and feathered a kiss into the palm of my hand. I never knew that those nerve endings were hard wired to my cock. The towel about my waist developed a tent in front. Tom grinned and shook his head, stepping over to the replicator for some clothes. I took a deep breath and pulled out the first thing that came to hand. Pulling on the jeans, I willed myself to calmly choose a white shirt.

By the time I turned around, Tom was dressed in a shirt the color of his eyes, tucked into an almost identical pair of jeans. We approved each other with just a glance that promised more to come. Later. When the door chimed, I saw him take a deep breath and nod to me.

Geron came in talking, much as Harry had done in Tom’s quarters the night before. “It’s so cool, Gregor. He can talk right to me and he showed me my village before it was destroyed. I’ve got to tell Tom about some things we missed in the program. Tom!”

“Hi, Geron. I take it you’ve interfaced with the Crystal?” Tom grinned at the gawking young man.

“Tom!” Geron seemed to be having trouble finding the words he needed. “You’re here. With Gregor. It’s about time.”

“Excuse me, little one. About time?” I threw an arm around his shoulders and mock glared at him.

His grin was ear to ear. “Well, sure. You can be so slow sometimes, Gregor. I was afraid I’d have to lock you in the program and send Tom in after you.”

Tom was laughing at us both and I didn’t know whether to put the pair of them over my knee or kiss them. “No more matchmaking, young man. You’ll never be able to top the pair of us. So it’s better if you retire as Cupid, right now.”

He leaned into me and shook his head. “You may be right but I’ve still got a couple of people to go before I hang up my ‘wings’. Everybody deserves to be as happy as the two of you look.”

Tom came close and ruffled Geron’s dark hair. “Thank you, Geron. I appreciate all your hard work but for now, would you be willing to keep this a secret? We’re not quite ready to tell the whole ship just yet.”

“Sure, Tom. Are you going to put it into the betting book at Sandrines?” Geron asked hopefully.

“Funny, that’s what the Captain wanted to know.” I snickered at Tom’s expression.

“Ha-ha-ha. Very funny, big guy. Harry already put it in the book.” Tom stuck out his tongue at me. “Let’s go to breakfast. I could even eat one of Neelix’s leola root omelets.”

We all laughed at that and left my quarters side by side, heading towards a new day of discovery in the Delta Quadrant. I marveled at how well Geron had taken our relationship and wondered what the reaction would be once it leaked out to the rest of the ship. Good and bad probably, but for now, I was content to let events take their course. 

Tom’s eyes met mine over Geron’s head. Together, we’d make it though. That was a sure bet.


	5. Prisms 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the Captain but it's dessert that's really fun.

Prism 5  
********************

I stood back and looked at my handiwork. It looked all right, not too green and not too gooey. It was the first time in a long time that I’d really wanted to make an impression and I needed to have everything perfect. So, I did a mental checklist and ticked off each item as I looked at the table. My dishes were china with a light green leaf motif topped with Mandalaran Brandied pears. Pistachio ice cream was chilling in the freezer bowl. The pale amber of the liquor glimmered in the tall fluted glasses. 

No silverware or napkins would be needed since we’d be coming back here after dinner in the dining hall and I was hoping to persuade Tom to use me as a plate. It had been a week since the Crystal came aboard and we’d been quietly getting together every night in either his quarters or mine. I was ready to move into one or the other so we wouldn’t waste time apart but I didn’t want to push Tom into something he might regret.

Tonight, I was going to ask him to move in with me or request new quarters so we’d both be starting fresh. As close as we had gotten, I still didn’t know what he would say. A chime told me I had a message so I called it up and found a request from the Captain to join her for dinner in her away room. Groaning under my breath, I sent back my acceptance at the same time my door buzzed.

But the door opened before I could get to it and Tom strolled in looking good enough to eat. He came right into my arms and I was beginning to get used to the shock of desire that flashed into being whenever we came together. I nibbled at his lips until they widened in a smile and I could slip inside. If there is a heaven, as the religious caste says there is, then I know where it is.

And how to get there.

I feasted on him for long moments before breaking off with a sigh. “I’m supposed to have dinner with the Captain tonight.”

His blue eyes sparkled and his smile couldn’t get any bigger. “Me too.”

“Really?” I tried to think why we’d both gotten this summons.

“Relax, Gregor. I expect it’s something to do with the Crystal.”

“You’re probably right but I had plans for after dinner.”

He peeked over my shoulder, eyes widening at the table. “Wow, Gregor, that looks beautiful. What’s the occasion?”

“Just wanted to surprise you with something special.”

Tom sighed and laid his head on my shoulder. “Everything we do is special. I’ve never felt so . . . cherished.”

Holding him close, I swallowed the lump in my throat. Such a declaration meant a lot coming from this wounded man who had found his way to me. “I adore you, Tom, cherishing you is very, very easy.”

He hid a disbelieving smile against my throat, kissing me softly. “We should probably get going. The Captain hates to be kept waiting.”

“Hm-m-m,” I breathed in his fresh clean scent. “The sooner we get there, the sooner we can come back for . . . dessert.”

“Coffee, tea or me?” He teased.

“Always you, Tom. But I think I need to see how you taste with whipped cream all over your body.”

He blushed before he laughed delightedly, shaking his head. I knew he still didn’t believe that we were going to last but my patience was infinite when it came to him. I hugged him close than stepped away so we could leave. We were still not a ‘couple’ to the rest of the crew so we’d have to behave outside my rooms.

Damn, so much for asking him about moving in together. I sighed silently before putting on my public face for the walk to her quarters. Tom was telling me some story about a leave he’d taken on Shirrika 6 and I let his voice wash over me like a refreshing shower. His hands sketched a picture of the rainstorm that had inundated he and his friend until they decided to strip off and race naked through the drops.

I was snickering at his chagrin when they discovered that the stream had overflowed its banks and taken their clothes with it. But when he told me who’d found them after the storm, I had to laugh out loud. The Sisters of St. Julian were known for their piety, good works . . . and their chastity. He gave me a mock pout that almost broke my control, followed by a wicked glance that made my blood race.

He finished the story just as we got to the Captain’s door. Before pressing the comm button, I leaned just a little closer and told him under my breath, “We can reenact it later, if you like?”

A gleaming smile was my answer as the Captain greeted us at her door. “Come in, gentlemen. I believe you know the others.”

I nodded to Chakotay and B’Elanna. The woman at B’Elanna’s side was a stranger to me and I thought I knew the entire crew. She had to be Star Fleet and the pips on her collar said she was a Lieutenant like Tom and me. She looked like someone I should know but for the life of me I couldn’t place what department she was in. But it had to be something obscure. The Captain must have noticed my puzzled look.

“Lt. Kimber, do you know Lt. Ayala?”

“Only from a distance, Captain, I don’t get out that much.” Her voice was low and melodic, her glance shy but determined. She held out her hand and I shook it gently. Her hand was stained with something dark but paradoxically was scrupulously clean. But her gaze had traveled on to Tom and a smile lit up her whole face.

“Tom, the jasmine bush has a blossom.”

“Congratulations, Jilly. It’s only taken you a year.” Tom joked and kissed her cheek.

I was taken aback by the jealousy that flashed through me. I could see that it was friendship not lust between them but the barbarian part of me still wanted to warn her off. It seems that I needed to work on my relationship skills. The Captain was pouting and complaining that it should have been her miniature coffee shrub.

That got a laugh from all of us since we’d all heard about her addiction to coffee.

She led the way to the table set with beautiful china and gleaming silver. She served us herself and we ate slowly to savor the taste of replicator food. Neelix had rather odd ideas of what constituted eatability. The talk was general, little nothings about the ship and speculation about the Crystal.

“Let’s have our after dinner drinks in my lounge. Please choose what you’d like from the replicator. For once, I think we can indulge. B’Elanna has some good news for us.” Captain Janeway led the way after getting a cup of her beloved coffee.

Tom and I chose our special tea while Chakotay and B’Elanna both ordered Rigillian beer. Lt. Kimber ordered a cup of hot chocolate with a contented sigh. Tom gently teased her about being a chocoholic and she blushed. I remembered Geron saying something about Tom talking to the plants and I realized that Lt. Kimber must have known him from the hydroponics lab. That was where I’d seen her, head down over some plant or another.

“Well, B’Elanna, tell the others your news.” Captain Janeway curled up on the long couch by the window to the stars; her shoes on the carpet and her feet tucked up under her.

“We have 100% crystal replacement. For the first time since the array threw us out here, we will be at full power capacity. The engines will be able to give you a little more speed, Hotshot Paris.”

“All right!” Tom sat up straight. “It’s about time, B’El.”

She growled at him but I could tell she was pleased with his joy. Chakotay asked about the sensors and the conversation quickly grew general. Lt. Kimber listened intently but said little unless one of the others asked her a question. She was the quietest person I’d ever met, reminding me of a little gray mouse on the prison ship who only came out at night to see if we had any crumbs.

After half an hour of increasingly speculative conversation, the party broke up. I noticed that Chakotay stayed behind but B’El decided to go to Sandrines. Tom told me that he was going to walk Lt. Kimber home but he winked over his shoulder and I said my goodnight with a smile. Walking home, I made sure everything was just right while I waited for him.

Checking the computer, I called up Lt. Kimber. It bothered me that I didn’t know anything about her. Looking at her general statistics, her record was an interesting one. She and her husband were on their second tour on Voyager when the array had thrown the ship into the Delta sector. Her husband had been killed before we joined forces and left her a widow at thirty. 

Her specialties were botany and history, an interesting combination that intrigued me. She was on the second shift that I’d just come off and I still didn’t remember ever coming across her before. Maybe she was more like that gray mouse than I had thought. She wasn’t a security problem that was sure. It made me glad to know she could appreciate Tom when the rest of us hadn’t.

He walked in as if my thoughts had conjured him up out of the air. “Now for dessert.”

I pulled out his chair and seated him as I’d seen a waiter do once on Earth. Whipping out the cloth napkin, I spread it in his lap, taking my time and making sure it was placed just right. “Would Monsieur like to see the menu?”

“Only if you’re on it, gorgeous.” He leered at me and I smoothed the napkin over the growing bulge in his lap.

“It is your lucky day – I am on the menu.” I ran a thumb over his bottom lip, the one that I dreamed about. “Or rather . . . we’re both on the menu.”

Pulling my chair around so we sat side by side, I picked up a fork and fed him the first bite of pear. He closed his eyes while chewing the rich dessert and making humming sounds that went straight to my groin. “Gregor, this is so decadent. I’ve never had anything so . . . so silky.”

Cutting a small portion off, he fed it to me and the burst of brandy on my tongue did indeed slide over it like silk. Taking turns, we finished both of the pears and I talked him into saving the ice cream for later. He was still laughing while we stripped off and crawled into my bed. His laughter was a real turn-on for me and when he came into my arms, I pulled him close and kissed him with fervor.

The brandied pear was no sweeter than his mouth.

We feasted on each other for long moments and when we slid under the covers, the ice cream freezer bowl was forgotten on the side table. Tom and I nestled close together, front to front. His skin felt warm and alive to my wandering lips and fingers. His breathless little chuckle when I caressed his nipple was music to my ears.

“Gregor . . . oh there.” He shivered when I gently bit his left nipple. His hands combed through my hair while I alternated licks and nibbles. “Your hair is like ebony strands of silk. I wish you could grow it out long. Then you’d be able to tickle me with the ends.”

“Ah, tickling.” I leered at him and flexed my fingers against his sides, enjoying his almost giggles. He looked so young when he laughed, as if all the bad years hadn’t happened and he was the carefree youth he should have been. “Now, what can you give me to stop this tickle attack?”

His blue eyes shone up at me. “Oh dear, what ever could I offer a big, handsome man like yourself?” He wiggled a leg between mine and matched our groins together. “I have so little to trade you.” He rocked back and forth, encouraging us both to harden further. “Maybe, I could offer you a hand?”

“Or a mouth?” I asked hopefully. 

“Really? Would that be enough for a big, strong guy like yourself?” He batted his eyes at me while slowly licking his lips.

That pink tongue was an invitation to plunder and I took him up on it. We kissed each other and slowly turned ourselves until we were head to groin. He took me in from crown to root and I shivered hard before returning the favor. We took our time, each move that one made so did the other. I paused to take each ball hanging beneath his cock into my mouth, gently rolling it before releasing it to the cooler air.

Blowing on it, I made him shiver before he doubled his attack on my durilium steel-hard cock. He fluttered his tongue over the vein that ran underneath the head and I had to get control of myself before I ended this duel prematurely. A deep breath and I was ready to up the ante. I took him in completely and began a series of swallows that brought a long moan from my bedmate.

He shuddered under my hands and I swallowed again before moving back up to catch his release on my tongue. He tasted so sweet to me, pulsing out into my gentle sucking. Tom’s skin rippled under my hands as I soothed long caresses up and down the backs of his long legs. I loved touching every part of him.

“Oh god, you are so good at that.” His breath gusted over my cock.

I stopped sucking and let his limp organ slide from my mouth. “You inspire me, Tom. Your taste is addicting. I need it every day.”

He rolled me onto my back and crawled up and over me, leaning in to taste himself. I traced his lips with the tip of my tongue and he sucked it into his hot mouth. When he drew away, he looked down at me and smiled. “Addicting is right. I never thought I’d need someone like I am beginning to need you.”

There was nothing I could say to that surprising statement and he seemed to understand because he grinned and moved back down to worship my cock. I was moaning and combing his hair with my fingers, trying not to hold him too hard. But I felt as if I’d been full for hours and all too soon, I was releasing into the warm wet haven.

We cuddled together while we got our breaths back. Once we’d arranged ourselves right way up and pulled the blanket over us, we settled in for my favorite part of the day. Sharing what we’d done during our shifts. It beat waking up with Tom by a tiny margin.

“How do you know Lt. Kimber?” I finally decided to assuage my curiosity.

“She’s a survivor, like I am.” His voice was serious and I moved my head so I could see him better. “Her husband was a 24 karat bastard. He abused her from the day they were married but subtly. So subtly that when she finally went to a councilor, the jerk didn’t believe her. When the array threw us out here and he was killed, she went into shock and is only now beginning to come out of her shell.”

“What did he do? Physical abuse or verbal?” I couldn’t believe that anyone would harm someone so small and quiet.

“A little of both.” Tom sighed, his blue eyes turning gray with sorrow. “He never hit her where it would show. And he was always ‘helping’ her before she could do something herself. Or belittling her ability with the ‘best intentions’. I recognized his kind from the moment we met so after he died I took her under my wing. Even though my wing wasn’t much of a shelter for her.”

“You’re more than capable of protecting your friends.”

“Yeah, all four of them.” He shrugged and I pulled him in tight.

“I love you and all your friends do too.” I gently kissed him then pulled back slightly so I could look into those big blue eyes. “So, you’ll just have to put up with us. Now, who have you and Geron set up for her?”

He fluttered his eyelashes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Gregor. I’m not the matchmaker that you think I am.”

“Un-uh, and I should believe that why?”

He grinned that shit-eating grin that had always annoyed me before I got to know him. “I’m not saying in case it jinxes her. Let’s just say that he’s someone very gentle who needs someone to give him the solid base that you give me.”

“That I give . . .” I had to catch my breath. “Do you want to move in with me? Now?”

“Are you sure? It hasn’t been very long.” Those blue eyes were so solemn.

“I’m sure, Tom. I love going to sleep with you but even more, I love waking up with you.” I held him gently, not wanting to put too much pressure on him.

“I like that too, Gregor. This part is the best part of the day, when we’re just here, together and talking about stuff.” Tom grinned ruefully. “I never thought I’d ever have something like this. It’s a little scary to reach for it.”

My eyes burned at his shy yearning. “I know what you mean. If you don’t reach for the gold star, then you don’t get disappointed, right?”

He nodded. “But that doesn’t stop the wanting inside.”

“I want the whole galaxy of stars, Tom. With you.” I kissed him gently and called for the lights to dim. “Think about it. Maybe you’ll dream an answer. I can wait.”

“I do want to be with you, Gregor. I never dreamed I could be so . . . comfortable with someone. You value my opinion and never tell me I’m stupid like Dad used to.” Tom tucked his head under my jaw and I stroked small, soothing circles on his back. “For a while, I started to think he was right. That I never could do anything good or build anything that would last.”

“Oh, Tom.” I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. “None of that is the truth. He was so wrong about you. You are building a life that he could never imagine. The Delta Quadrant has thrown a little bit of everything at us and we’ve survived. And one of the reasons we survived was your skill as a pilot and your bravery in flushing out the traitor who would have destroyed us.”

I felt moisture against my throat and would have given everything I had to take this burden from him. The heavy load of tradition that his father had pinned to his shoulders from the day he was born would have crippled a lesser soul but though Tom had faltered, he’d never failed the Voyager or its crew.

“I don’t want Dad to be right, Gregor. I’m tired of fighting his legacy.” Tom raised his head, blue eyes glistening and his smile tremulous. “I want what we have right now. And I want a future, whatever that might be.”

“Good. Shall I talk with the Captain or do you want to?” I beamed at him. “We could move into either yours or mine but maybe we should move to new quarters and start fresh completely.”

“I’d like to move closer to the hydroponics bay and Jill. The mix of crew on that level is kind of neutral to the whole ‘give Tom a bad name’ clique.” He smiled back at me.

“Then, that’s what we’ll ask for. I wouldn’t be adverse to being closer to the Crystal.” I settled in to sleep. “Thanks, Tom. I promise to be there for our future.”

He hid a yawn and closed his eyes sleepily. “Me too, Gregor. Night.”

“Night. Sweet dreams, love.”

Smiling, he pulled me a little closer and we fell asleep to dream of each other.


	6. Prisms 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They move in together.

Prism 6  
******************** 

I was a little nervous while I waited to speak to the Captain. Tom was late and I was doing some quick praying that he would get here before my turn came. Sure we decided to move in together but what if he had second or third thoughts? I took a deep breath, then another and another until I was calm again.

Tom dashed around the corner with his hair standing slightly on end as if he’d been running his hands through it. That’s a good look for him. I smiled at him and he skidded to a halt beside me with an answering grin. “Sorry Gregor, I got held up in Sick Bay. The Doc is being fussier than usual. He had to have an inventory of our gel packs right – this – minute.”

I chuckled at his imitation of the prissy doctor who took such good care of us. “No problem, Tom. She’s running behind schedule. Tuvok is in with her now. Something about the Crystal.”

He perked up. “Really? Maybe we should take some time to get back and connect with it?”

“After we move, I think that would be a very good idea.” I leaned one shoulder against the wall and feasted my eyes on him. He was a ten-course meal to me and I had the sudden urge to taste him from his shell pink ears down to his cute little toes.

“Uh, Gregor, if you really want everyone to know about us,” his voice dropped to that sexy drawl that turns me on quicker than anything. “Just look at me like that on the Bridge. Better than a PA announcement any day.”

I don’t blush easily but I did then. There’s something about Thomas Paris that strips away all my protective layers and exposes me to the light of day. “I know what the ancients meant by the phrase ‘love-sick’. And I never want to be cured.”

Now it was his turn to blush and he shook his head. “We’ll have to take care of each other then because I must have been infected the same time you were.”

“Gentlemen.” The Captain’s voice broke into the shimmering silence between us and brought us back to the corridor. “Come in and solve a little bet that I have with myself as to why you wanted to see me.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” We said in unison and followed her into her office after nodding to Tuvok.

“You first.” She sat behind her desk and smiled.

I took a deep breath. “We want to move in together.”

“Somewhere on the hydroponics deck if that’s possible.” Tom added.

“I love winning bets.” She chuckled and called up a schematic on her computer. “There’s a cabin with extra storage and a small workroom off the main room. But it’s only a one bedroom.”

“Perfect.” Tom said eyeing the display. “It’s two doors down from Jilly and right beside hydroponics.”

“All right with you, Lt. Ayala?”

“Anywhere Tom is, is perfect for me.” I said honestly, watching him enthuse over the slightly larger quarters.

“Well said, Lt. Ayala, its sitting empty right now. I’ll key code it to both of you so you can move tonight after your shift.” And with a toggle and thumbprint mark, we were the proud possessors of ‘our’ new home.

I looked at Tom and caught him smiling back. It was going to take quite a bit to get this grin off both our faces. “Thank you, Captain. We appreciate the support.”

“Oh you have that, gentlemen. I’m a sucker for a happy ending.” She rose and offered her hand first to me and then to Tom. It had all the feeling of a ritual. “And remember that I am authorized to perform wedding ceremonies, too.”

Tom blushed and I had the immediate urge to hold him but Janeway had been pretty patient with us so far and I didn’t want to stretch her affability. Smiling shyly, Tom answered her. “We won’t forget, Captain.”

“I should hope not. Now get to work so you can start moving after your shift.” And she dismissed us with a wave of her hand, her mind already moving on to the next matter that needed her attention.

We exited together than had to split up while I went down to security and he moved straight down the corridor to the bridge. It was going to be a long day, I thought with a sigh. But the end of it would be sweet indeed.

******************* 

We collapsed on the floor while Harry and B’Elanna slumped on the sofa. “Thanks, you guys. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You’re welcome, Gregor. But who knew you had so much to move?” Harry said plaintively.

“We seem to be pack rats, Har’.” Tom chuckled tiredly.

“Hah!” B’Elanna snorted and raked the pair of us with a flashing look. “One of these days, I’m going to make you both move me to bigger quarters and then you’ll know what a real pack rat is.”

We all laughed at her jaunty tone and I found the energy to get up and go to the replicator to dial up some drinks. My eyes widened at the number displayed by my authorization code. “Hey, my credits are astronomical. When did that happen?”

B’Elanna’s voice was smug. “I told you the crystal supply had been replenished. The Captain and Chakotay got together and totaled up what everybody would have gotten if we hadn’t been so strapped for crystals.”

Tom joined me at the replicator. “Wow, kind of like an early Christmas present.”

“Or an early wedding present.” I dropped my voice so only Tom would hear me.

He blushed and called up our drinks. But just before turning away with Harry and B’Elanna’s drinks, he whispered to me, “Later, big guy.”

The others didn’t stay much longer although I don’t think we were giving off ‘go away so we can attack each other’ signals. But we might have been because I know I was on a slow simmer. Every brush of his hand brought me a little closer to a boil and his glance was hot enough to start a forest fire.

Watching the door close behind them, I turned to see Tom prowling the new rooms with a grin that seemed permanently fixed. He couldn’t seem to stay still and he’d obviously caught his second wind. Moving up behind him, I caught all that energy in my arms and just held him.

He turned to me, his arms going tight around my neck. His eyes were bright with tears and I kissed him gently, wondering if he was regretting the move.

“No, silly, I don’t regret anything. It’s just . . .” he bit his lip.

And as if I could hear the words in my head, I knew what he hadn’t said. “You never thought this would happen. You never thought you’d fall in love. Or be loved.”

“Uh-uh, I’m not used to dreams coming true, Gregor.” He laid his head on my shoulder.

I rested mine against him, inhaling his scent like an addictive perfume. “But this isn’t a dream, Tom, it’s as real as it gets, not a holodrama but real life. Come to bed and let me prove it to you.”

“Yes, please. Make it real, Gregor.” He pulled back a little so those beautiful blue eyes could look into mine. “Love me until I can’t feel anything but you.”

“Your wish is my command.” And taking him by surprise, I scooped him up in my arms and carried him into our new bathroom, enjoying the sound of his laughter. 

This bathroom had an old fashioned tub in it as well as the shower unit. B’El had given us a housewarming gift of a bottle of bath crystals for the tub that she swore wouldn’t stain us odd colors or make us itch. In fact she’d winked when she handed it over so I watched Tom scatter a handful of the white crystals that quickly dissolved in the hot water and wondered what would happen.

“Well, it looks all right.” Tom was swiftly removing his clothes but watching the tub fill at the same time.

“It smells like those white flowers that you put in that program.” I wasn’t far behind in clothes removal.

“Jasmine, Geron asked for it and it’s always been one of my favorite flowers. Mom . . .” he hesitated then continued on bravely, “Mom had a bottle of perfume that was called Jasmine d’Oro. I always think of her when I smell it.”

I reached out and pulled him into my arms, holding him close and reveling in the feel of his skin against mine. “Would she have approved of us, do you think?”

He hugged me back hard. “I don’t know. But I think she would. She loved beauty in all its forms.”

“Ah, but you’re the beautiful one, Tom.” I kissed him and almost let the tub overflow while he kissed me back.

He pulled away and turned off the taps with a laugh. “We don’t want to flood this level on our first night.”

Stepping in to the hot water, I felt a little swirl around my right leg. Just a water current I told myself and steadied Tom when he stepped in. As we settled into the faintly steaming water, the scent grew stronger while the liquid seemed to thicken around us. Tom leaned back into my arms, his head on my shoulder and I ran the soap over his chest, paying particular attention to his rapidly hardening nipples.

“You’re beautiful here.” I let the soap float away while I rubbed them gently and then pinched one and then the other.

His strangled moan fed something deep inside of me. I wanted to hear that sound again. So I let one hand drift lower to brush against the rising shaft and he shivered all the way down to his toes. I could feel myself hardening beneath his moving hips and the weird swirls were getting stronger against our skin.

“Gregor, do you feel that?” He flexed his ass muscles and I shuddered.

“The crystals seem to pick up each movement and echo it. Too much?” I was flexing my toes and watching the ripples move up our legs.

“No, it feels like you’ve got four hands and a very interesting . . . swelling.” He wiggled back and I thrust up between his legs, nudging his balls. “Oh yeah, right there.” He clenched around me and I thought I’d lose it.

“Damn, did you feel that?” I thrust up just a bit and he groaned, his hands moving behind him to my hips while he held on. “Are you okay with this, Tom?”

He turned his head far enough to catch my earlobe between his teeth and bite, not hard just enough to make me feel it. “I love it almost as much as I do you. Now move already.”

I reached down and gloved his cock with my hand. It didn’t take much just a slow glide up before the ripples started. We were both on the edge and every movement being tripled meant that we reached meltdown too quickly. He pulsed out into my hand while squeezing his legs together to provide a tunnel for me to climax in. The water was starting to cool a little when we finally decided to get out.

“Let’s save that for some evening when we’re really beat and only have a little energy.” Tom said yawning into my shoulder while I toweled his back. “All I want to do right now is go to bed and sleep for a week.”

“Sounds good. Ask the computer to wake us up in time for breakfast tomorrow. It’s a good thing we made the bed up already.” I stifled my own yawn and threw the towels into the hamper. Following Tom into our new bedroom, I smiled at the pictures we’d hung on the wall. There was Harry with Tom, myself with my two sons and one of us that Harry had just taken.

Sliding in beside my sleepy lover in our first home together, I gathered him into my arms and kissed him. “Sweet dreams, Tom.”

“Always good with you, Gregor. Love you.” And he was asleep.

Sweet dreams indeed.


End file.
